


Never Leave Me

by SadieandJack



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 38,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27529267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack
Summary: Sara and Grissom's relationship hits a glitch as he leaves for Paris. She stays finding out a secret that changes her life forever. Will Grissom come back to her?
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle
Kudos: 1





	1. Never Leave Me

Grissom slept on his couch at work. The day had erupted into problems from the beginning and he finally had to close his door to people with problems because of a migraine. His gentle snores were the only sound in the room.

Greg stood outside his office door agonizing over something he did. He had to come clean before someone else told the boss. I walked over noticing he was nervously rubbing his hands together as he looked at the door.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked

"Yeah, I am just trying to figure out how to tell Grissom something." He said "Hey, why don't you tell Grissom for me?"

"Oh no." I said, starting to walk away.

He ran over pulling me back.

"Please Sara, he is mad already. He likes you."

I sighed looking down.

"What did you do?" I asked, surrendering.

"I sort of contaminated some evidence." He said

"He will kill you!" I said

"Please try to…soften him up. I know you can try."

"You owe me for this." I said

He smiled watching me look at him opening the door going inside as he waited outside. I entered the dimly lit room finding Grissom on the couch sleeping with his arm over his eyes.

"Grissom?" I said, quietly.

Walking over to him I looked down at his chest rising slowly. His right hand rested on his belly.

"Grissom?" I said

When he didn't wake I knelt down to him smiling faintly looking at him. I slowly leaned over kissing his lips gently causing him to move. The arm rose as his eyes adjusted seeing me looking at him.

"Sara?" He said, quietly.

"Sorry, I just wanted to kiss you." I said, touching his cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." He said, touching my arm.

I leaned over kissing him. He opened his eyes watching me as he laid back against the pillow.

"Greg is outside afraid to face you."

"Why?" He asked

"Well he sort of did something with some evidence." I said

"What exactly did he sort of do?"

"Contaminated some evidence." I said

Grissom put his hand to his head closing his eyes.

"You can tell him that I said he is fired."

I sat on the couch reaching over massaging his head. He relaxed laying his arm down as he sighed.

"You don't mean that." I said

He kept his eyes closed.

"Sara, I think that I should take that job lecturing."

I stopped rubbing his head looking at him.

"I thought you said you wouldn't." I said

He opened his eyes looking at me.

"I know, but then I received another email from Ken Drake telling me I could lecture in Paris."

"Paris?"

"Yes, you know how long I wanted to do that. Plus the added bonus of going on digs in Peru."

"What about me?"

"You can come with me."

I stood looking down at him.

"Grissom, I have a job here."

"Sara, I can't pass this up. I am going." He said

I looked at him in silence.

"Have a nice time." I said, leaving opening the door walking past Greg. Grissom sighed looking at the door.

Grissom came home looking for me. He went into the bedroom seeing me sleeping on my side. He stood looking at me enjoying the sight of me in his bed. I moved feeling his lips on my temple.

"Gris?" I said

"Are you still mad?" He asked

I moved closer to his chest snuggling my face into his neck. He sighed closing his eyes pulling me to him.

"That answers my question." He said

"You once said you would do anything for me." I said, as I kissed his neck.

"I would."

I moved away looking at him.

"Don't go."

"Sara, I would do anything for you, but I have made a commitment that I need to finish." He said

I moved sitting up looking down at him.

"You decided to leave?"

"Yes, and my offer still stands. I want you to come with me."

"As what, you're assistant?"

"No, as my girlfriend." He said, sitting up.

I sighed looking down.

"I think you should go." I said

He looked at me.

"When you tire of it you can come back to me." I said

"Sara, I am not coming back."

I looked at him in the dim lit room watching him search my eyes. Slowly I got out of bed turning on the lamp on the bedside table then I walked around getting my clothes.

"Sara, wait." He said, getting out of bed to stop me. He grabbed me making me drop my clothes. I looked down as he rubbed my arms. "What…if we got married?"

I looked at him.

"Married?"

"Yes."

I moved to sit on the bed feeling him sit down next to me on the bed.

"Grissom, are you asking because you think I will stay?" I asked, looking at him.

"Sara whether you stay or not is not the issue. I am asking you to marry me." He said "I need you in my life."

I stood touching his cheek as he looked up at him.

"You have me, just…not the way you want."

"Does this mean we are breaking up?" He asked

"Grissom, I spent years secretly in love with you. When your eyes opened I have to admit it was the happiest time I have ever had. Now you are asking me to leave a life that I have built. It is a solid, stable life and I assumed you would be here to share it with me. I can't marry you yet. When you open your eyes again come find me."

He felt my fingers leave his face as I left him.

Grissom left the country to pursue this new job while I stayed crying often from the loneliness I felt. My dreams were consumed with him and I found myself mentally depressed over his absence.

A few months later my computer told me that he was online and wanted to talk. I winched as I sat down touching the white bandage on my head. I knew what trouble this would bring when he saw it. I went onto Skype and waited. His bearded face came on smiling at me. I looked behind him assuming he was in a small apartment.

"Hello Sara."

"Hello." I said

"Did you just come home?" He asked

"Yes, why do you look so happy?"

"I am going on a dig in Peru with a professor I have known for a long time."

"Oh, what's his name?" I asked

"Her name is Doctor Helena Watford." He said

I winched touching my bandage.

"Are you okay?" He asked "Is that a bandage?"

"Yes and yes. I had an accident while on the job."

"How is everything?" He asked, lifting a cup to his mouth.

"Fine, Nick has gotten engaged and Catherine hired some new people."

"Tell them I said hello."

"I will."

"Gil, where do you keep the…?"A woman asked

I looked behind him with wide eyes seeing a blonde woman in a robe looking at me. Grissom stood walking over to the woman talking to her then he came back as she slowly walked away.

"Who was that?" I asked

"The professor friend I told you about."

"She is staying there?"

"Yes."

"In a robe?"

"Sara."

"I have to go." I said

"Sara, I…."

I shook my head ending the conversation. I got up pacing then I went in taking a shower standing naked under the spray letting the hot water hit my face. My heart broke as I stood moving out of the water putting my head against the tile wall crying. I pounded the walls sliding down sitting under the spray crying like a child.

Catherine walked into the break room seeing Greg eating an apple as he looked at a file at the table.

"Have you heard from Sara?" She asked

"No." He said, looking at her.

She took out her cell phone dialing my number.

"What's wrong?" Greg asked

"She is not answering her phone."

"She always does."

"I know."

Brass walked up the stairs to my place holding his cell phone dialing my number. He looked at the door as it rang then he mumbled holding his cell phone looking down at it. Reaching under the flower pot I had by the door he got the extra key. He opened the door hearing silence and it scared him a little.

"Sara?" He called "It's Brass."

Walking around he saw nothing out of place. He knocked on my bedroom door.

"Sara?"

When no answer came he opened the door looking in seeing me in bed lying on my stomach not facing him. The sheet went up to my bare shoulder blades with my hair scattered on the pillow.

"Sara?" Brass called out, walking over to the bed. He swallowed fearing the worst. Leaning over he touched my naked arm jumping as I jumped up screaming pulling the sheet up against my body. "It's just me."

I breathed in and out fast watching him walk over carefully.

"Are you okay?"

"Why are you here?"

"Catherine called and said you didn't come to work or answer your phone."

I put my hand to my head looking around.

"I didn't mean to sleep." I said, getting up holding the sheet against me as I ran to the closet getting some clothes hearing the door shut behind Brass. He sat waiting in the living room standing when I came out dressed and ready to go.

"I'll take you." He said

"Thank's." I said, going to the door.

Brass looked at me as he drove down the street. I looked out the passenger window watching cars go by.

"So you want to talk?" He asked

I shook my head looking out still.

"You seem sad." He said

"No." I said

"Sara, I know people. You can't tell me your not."

I sighed looking over at him.

"Talk to me." He said

"Grissom is seeing a woman in Paris."

"How do you know?"

"She appeared wearing a robe while we were talking on skype."

"Oh." He said, knowing what that meant.

"How could he do that to me?" I asked "I love him and he…" I said, stopping as my voice cracked.

Brass looked over at me seeing I looked away again wiping my eyes. My phone started ringing and I looked at it looking down letting it ring. Brass watched me answer it.

"Sidle." I answered

"Can you talk?" Grissom asked

"No." I said

"Sara, please talk to me."

"I can't." I said, as I sniffed.

Brass pulled the car off the road stopping the engine looking at me.

"I need to explain."

I held the phone out to Brass as I wiped my eyes. Brass took it watching me hold my head as I cried.

"Gil, Sara is needed at work. Can she call you back?"

"Ah….yes I suppose." Grissom said

"Goodbye." Brass said, hanging up.

"Thanks." I said, taking back the phone.

"Sara, I know what you are feeling. My wife did that to me." He said "She was having a fling with my partner."

"That's terrible."

"Your telling me. I spent hours working alongside this guy that I trusted and all the while he was carrying on with my wife."

"So, what did you do?"

He sighed touching the steering wheel.

"I had an affair."

"Oh."

"I met her at a bar and I was so angry I just decided to just do it. Afterwards I felt like crap. I went home and told my wife. She threw me out and that was the end."

"I'm sorry."

"You live and learn." He said "I just wish I could apologize to the lady I took to the motel."

"You never spoke to her again?"

"No, I was very drunk and she was to. We got a room and then afterwards I left while she slept off the alcohol."

"Wow." I said, looking out.

"Sara, don't give up on Gil. I know he must have a reason for doing whatever he is doing."

"I suppose."

He started the engine and we drove again. He parked outside the building getting out.

"By the way, did you ever want to find the woman you had a one night stand with?" I asked, as we walked to the building.

"It would be awkward. I do remember her black hair and her big brown eyes. Her name was Laura Stigel."

I stopped looking at him. He looked at me seeing the look on my face.

"What's wrong?"

"Laura Stigel?"

"Yeah." He said

"That…was my mother's name." I said, watching his surprised stare.

"Stigel, from Reno?"

"She lived there for a time."

He started to smile.

"You're playing a joke on me aren't you?"

I reached into my coat taking out my wallet with a picture of my mother. He looked at the picture standing back.

"It's her."

"I know." I said

He put his hand through his hair.

"I can't believe it."

"Neither can I."

He handed the picture back to me.

"It's a small world."

I nodded remembering work.

"I better go in, thanks for the ride."

"Not at all."

He watched me go in. I worked over sitting down for the first time in hours. I looked around then I worked on the computer finding a sight that had wedding certificates and births in the San Francisco area. My phone went off and I picked it up.

"Sidle."

"Can we talk now?" Grissom asked

"I don't know." I said, looking around.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Sara, you don't sound all right to me."

"I'm fine."

He sighed as I picked at the keyboard.

"Sara, what can I do?"

"Nothing."

"I have been thinking and I want to come back."

"I am working."

"Working, Shouldn't you be home?"

"I worked over."

He stayed quiet.

"I have to go, bye." I said, hanging up. I sighed setting my phone down looking at the screen.

Brass stood by a trash can outside the building sipping some coffee out of a paper cup. He saw me come out looking tired.

"Hey Sara." He said

I looked at him walking over.

"Hey."

"Long shift?"

"Yeah."

"Go home and get some sleep." He said, throwing the cup in the trash.

"I plan to." I said

"See ya." He said, walking away.

"See ya." I said, watching him leave. Getting a plastic bag from my pocket I got the cup out of the trash walking back in the building. Catherine walked over to the room I was working in holding a paper.

"Sara, can we talk in my office?" She asked

I looked at her.

She led me in closing the door as I took a seat.

"Want to tell me why you are using the lab for personal use?" She asked, as she sat down.

I looked down rubbing my hands together.

"I needed to find out who my real father is."

"Oh." She said

"I met a man who said he had a fling with my mother. I got my parents' marriage certificate and they married after I was born."

"You can't use the lab like this."

"I know, sorry."

"I can't be to mad at you. I did the same thing to Grissom." She said "He was mad. Here."

I took the paper she held out to me. She watched me open it looking at the results. Catherine watched me fold the paper up and look at her.

"Well?"

"It's just as I thought." I said "Thank's."

She nodded watching me leave. I stood outside her door looking at the results again.

Brass sat at his desk talking on the phone as I knocked. He motioned me in as he hung up.

"Hey, what's going on?" He asked

"I want you to have this." I said, handing him the paper.

He looked at me confused unfolding the paper looking at it. I waited by his desk as he went over the results.

"What is this?" He asked, looking at me.

"It proves that my father was not my father." I said "You are my father."

He stood looking at the paper.

"How did you get my DNA?" He asked

"The coffee cup you threw in the trash."

He looked at me.

"You tested this without asking me if it was all right?"

"I wanted to know."

"You should have said something."

"I'm sorry, I just had to know."

He walked around staring at the paper.

"This is unbelievable."

"I told them to run it twice."

He walked up to me.

"What do we do now?" I asked

"I don't know. Should we hug?"

"I suppose."

He moved closer pulling me to him in a hug.

"I think I need to some time alone with this." He said

"Okay." I said, letting him go leaving. He looked at the door close then he looked at the paper.

I went to a bar after work a week later drowning my sorrows. My phone went off and I answered it.

"Sidle."

"Sara, where are you?" Grissom asked

"I am at a bar." I said "Give me another one."

"Brass called me. I want to see you."

"That is kind of hard to do since you are in Paris." I said, laughing.

"I am in town. I know the bar you like. I will be there in five minutes."

"Whatever." I said, hanging up. I drank a shot my head on my hand as I looked at the counter. Grissom came in looking around seeing me at the counter.

"Here you are" he said

"Yes, here I am." I said, as I picked at the counter.

He sighed as he looked at me. I rubbed my head looking at the shot glass in front of me. He sat down beside me looking at me.

"Did you bring that woman with you?"

"Sara, there is nothing going on. I love you no one else."

I made a sound throwing money on the counter leaving. Grissom followed me watching as I walked unsteadily to my parked car.

"Your not driving like this." He said

"It's my car." I said

He grabbed my keys from my hand.

"I'll drive you."

We got in driving off down the street. Grissom looked at me as I laid my head against the window. He parked outside the apartment looking at me as I slept against the window. He got out of the car opening the door catching me as I fell out. I woke looking around then I faced him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my speech slurred.

"I am taking you to our home." He said

"Our home….that sounds weird." I said, as he put my arm over his shoulders while his other arm went around my waist.

"Yes, our home where you are going to sleep."

"I never….sleep."

"Well you are now." He said, helping me up the stairs.

I laughed as he walked me to the front door. He opened the door helping me inside walking to the bedroom where he laid me on the bed. I sighed moving to my side sleeping. He shook his head looking at me.

Grissom heard someone knock on the door the next day. He put the coffee mug on the counter going to the door opening it seeing Brass in his work clothes.

"Hey Gil, can I come in?"

"Come in."

Brass came in looking around then he looked at Grissom.

"Sara up?"

"Not yet. Coffee?"

"Thank's." He said, watching Grissom get a cup from the cupboard pouring some coffee into it then he gave it him.

"You look like you need to tell me something." Grissom said

"Well…yes," Brass said, clearing his throat before laying the steaming cup down on the counter. "Gil, I am Sara's father."

"What?"

"It's true. I am her biological father."

Grissom looked at him in surprise then he looked over seeing me walking slowly over to them. My hair was messed and I looked green. I looked at them both and groaned turning going back to the living room to lay down on the couch. Brass walked over looking at me as Grissom joined him.

"Go away." I said, muffled.

"Sara, I know we are not your favorite people right now, but we thought we could talk to you." Brass said

"No." I said

"Sara, just hear us out." Grissom said

I groaned again sitting up seeing a cup of coffee being set down on the table in front of me. I held my head as they sat down close by.

"Sara, first of all I did not cheat on you. That woman that appeared was a doctor friend of mine that I have known since college. She asked to stay for a few days while her husband was out of town teaching." Grissom said

"You expect me to believe that?" I said

"Yes I do."

I lifted my head shaking it as I reached a shaking hand for the cup.

"Sara, Gil and I talked by phone and he explained the situation and I know he wouldn't cheat."

Grissom stood walking over helping me up.

"I love you."

I leaned against him closing my eyes as he held me to him. Brass stood smiling as we hugged. I opened my eyes moving as my hand went to my mouth I ran off to the bathroom throwing up. Coming out again I saw them standing by the front door talking.

"Feel better?" Brass asked

"Yeah." I said

"Well I guess I should go." He said

"Wait." I said, walking over to him. He smiled watching me come closer hugging him. He hugged me patting my back gently. "You come from good stock."

He left as Grissom closed the door turning to look at me.

"So when do you go back?" I asked

"I can stay for a bit."

I called in sick cuddling with him on the couch as we watched a movie. He laid behind me playing with my hair.

"Sara, why don't we get married?"

"We are not ready yet." I said

"I thought we were."

"I am not."

"Oh."

We once again laid in silence. Closing my eyes I dozed against a pillow as he continued to watch the movie. As it ended he turned the player off leaning over seeing I was sleeping. I moved feeling his soft kisses on my neck.

"Sara?" He said, quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Will you marry me?"

"No." I said

"Marry me." He said, as he moved my hair to kiss my ear.

I moved to lie on my back with my head facing his chest. He put his hand on my cheek moving my head up so I could look at him in the eye. I opened my eyes looking into his.

"Sara, you know I love you and I know you love me isn't that enough?"

"Not for me."

"What is it you want?"

"You here."

He sighed looking at the coffee table.

"I want you here."

He looked down at me.

"I want you there."

"I told you I can't."

"I can't either."

I moved sitting up as he moved to sit beside me. We both looked down.

"Well then if we can't we have to make a decision." He said

"Go our separate ways." I said

"Or stay together."

"I don't think that is an option."

He looked at me.

"I'll get a flight out as soon as I can."

I looked at him.

"You have made your mind up."

"Sara, there is not a solution to this problem. Long distance is not a marriage or a relationship."

I moved over kissing him as he kissed me then I moved back letting a tear go down my cheek.

"I had better go to bed."

"I'll sleep on the couch." He said

I nodded getting up leaving him to sit alone. The next month I walked down the hallway pale. I had not slept in three days. Brass saw me in the hallway sipping some water from a fountain. He walked over leaning against the wall.

"Hey kid."

"Hey." I said, looking at him.

"Wow you look tired." He said

"I'm fine."

I started to walk away.

"Grissom called me." He said, watching me stop to look at him.

"Grissom?"

"He asked about you."

"What did he say?" I asked, walking over to stand in front of him.

"He asked if you were all right."

"I hope you said fine."

"I did."

I nodded turning to walk away.

"Sara?"

I turned looking back at him.

"Why don't you come back to my place after shift?" He asked, walking over to me.

"I really want to be alone."

He reached over touching my cheek.

"I see the pain in your eyes, honey."

I looked at him then I walked away. Going home I sat on the couch looking at a picture of Grissom and I standing beside each other smiling. My finger went over his face as I let some tears go down my cheek.

Coming to work I dragged my feet as my body started to fail me. Nick watched me work in the lab hunched over a blanket. He could tell I was running on the last bit of fumes I had.

I took a break walking out of the room holding an arm out holding onto the wall for support. Catherine came out of her office seeing me walking.

"Cath did you want to question Phillips?" Brass asked, walking over to her.

"No." She said

Brass nodded looking over seeing me.

"I'll talk to you later." He said, as he walked over to the break room where I was at. I poured more coffee into a cup as he walked over. "Sara, look at yourself! You look sick!"

I turned facing him dropping my cup as I swayed causing him to reach out taking me in his arms.

"Catherine!" He yelled, lowering me to the ground. Catherine ran in kneeling down as he got his phone out.

My eyes would not open, but I heard voices in the room.

"They said she is malnourished, and has not slept in a week." Brass said

"I'm glad you called me. We may not be together, but I still feel responsible for her."

Grissom, he was there to? My heart fluttered as I felt my hand being lifted up and a hand touching my hair.

"Honey, its Grissom." He said

"Mmmm." I moaned, faintly.

"Your going to be all right."

I felt a kiss on my head. Drifting into a sea of nothing was comforting but then the poking and voices came back. I moved my head as someone called my name. Not wanting to wake up I played dumb not opening my eyes for anyone.

"Sleep is the best thing right now." A woman said

"Will she wake soon?" Brass asked

"I think she will."

They left me to drift, but a few hours later someone who I knew was Grissom kissed my head.

"Sara?" He called "Honey, I hope you can hear me where ever you are right now. I wish you would wake up, but I understand you need to rest. I was being selfish when we last saw each other. It took an emergency for me to wake up and see that I love you more than my work. All the time I wasted thinking I was right. When you wake up I want to tell you once and for all that I will come back to you."

My heart burst as he said what he had to. I moved my head as he kissed my nose watching as I slowly opened my eyes seeing him.

"Sara?"

"Gris?" I said, weakly.

He ran out getting the doctor then he came back in taking my hand smoothing my cheek. A week later I was home again. Grissom laid in bed beside me. I kept my eyes closed as he kissed my face. Opening my eyes I looked at him seeing the love in his eyes.

"Shift starts now." I said

"I know."

"Are you going to come back and work?"

"Would you want me to?"

I moved to put my cheek against his chest as he laid on his back.

"I would like it, but you wouldn't."

"I can do lectures here or teach."

Moving I looked at him as he looked at me.

"Gris, I want to marry you."

He sat up looking at me.

"As soon as possible, and then I want you to go back to Paris."

"Sara, I told you I don't want to leave you now."

"You wanted to lecture for a long time and I do not want to stand in your way. We will make it work."

He searched my eyes moving to kiss me. I kissed him slowly then I opened my eyes looking at him.

"I love you, Sara."

"I love you."

Grissom and I said a long goodbye both wearing our new wedding rings. Brass watched me come into his office smiling. He looked at my hand seeing my wedding ring glisten in the light.

"Did Gil get to Paris okay?"

"He called and said the flight was a little bumpy."

He nodded watching me sit in a chair.

"Jim, I came to ask you something."

"What cookie?"

"Can I call you dad?"

"If you want to, Sara."

I nodded standing walking over leaning over giving him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled taking my hand in his.

"You know I told Ellie about you."

"What did she say?"

"Not much. I regret not being there for her. She blames me for everything that has happened. It's nice to have someone like me for a change."

"I think it's nice to have a father around and a good one."

I smiled walking away from him out of his office. Walking down the hallway I wondered what the future held for Grissom and I and Brass. I knew that no matter it was there would always be someone in my life.

I slept in bed hearing the computer ding on the bed. It dinged again and I moved opening my eyes seeing the laptop on with a notification of Grissom wanting to talk. Clicking it on I saw my husband wearing a blue shirt drinking some coffee.

"Hi Honey." He said

"Hey." I said, stretching.

"Did I wake you?"

"I was up."

"Liar." He said, smiling.

"I miss you."

"I miss you to."

"How is Paris?"

"Hot." He said "How is Las Vegas?"

"Same."

I blinked yawning.

"You look tired." He said

"No, I am okay."

He smiled watching me.

Brass smiled seeing me walk over to him at a crime scene.

"Hey kiddo."

I smiled as he touched my arm.

"What do we have?"

"Young female in the alleyway. Found by some guys coming out of the casino." He said

I walked over looking at the girl stabbed in the chest by something. Suddenly, gunshots rang out hitting some people standing around. Brass pulled me against the wall shielding me as he got on his radio. I shook hearing him shout to his men to shoot. He watched his men shoot up as people screamed running. I closed my eyes wishing it would stop. Some bullets hit near where we were. The shots stopped as the police shouted to each other.

"Sara stay here." He said, getting out his gun he carefully walked over.

"Dad!" I shouted

Brass looked back at me motioning me to be quiet. I shook scared he would be hurt. He peeked out nodding to his men to move. I sat on the ground as he went ahead. The all clear came and I went back to work as Brass talked to some people in the street. When I got back to the lab I sat in the locker room looking at my cell phone thinking about Grissom.

Brass came in seeing me stand looking at him. I walked over hugging him.

"This is what we do, honey. We all work in dangerous situations."

"I am just glad you are all right." I said

He moved back touching my hair.

"It felt good to hear you call me dad."

"Well I was scared for you."

"I know."

I smiled faintly as he smoothed a finger down my cheek.

"I love you dad."

"I love you to."

A week later I got a cold. I sneezed as I ate my egg salad sandwich in the break room. Holding my head with my hand I didn't see Greg walking over to sit at the table near me. I got an apple eating it as he watched me.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yeah." I said, standing as I put my sandwich in the bag then I walked over throwing it away.

My cell phone went off as I came out of the building to go home.

"Sidle." I said, sneezing again.

"Sick?" Grissom asked

"It's just a cold." I said

"Are you going home?"

"I think so." I said

"Good."

I rubbed my head looking around at the cars.

"Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you have Brass take you home?"

"He's busy." I said, walking to my car. "My head is swimming."

"Call Brass." He said

"Fine." I said, hanging up. Dropping my phone I bent down trying to find it. Brass came out talking on his phone.

"No, it's not a problem. Okay bye." He said, walking over seeing me leaning down to look under my car. "What did you lose?"

"My phone."

Oh, here it is." He said, picking it up by my tire. I stood up sneezing taking it from him.

"I'll take you home."

"Grissom called you."

"You got it."

I shook my head sighing. He held out his hand to me and I took it letting him lead me to his car. Once we got in the house I had a fever. Brass turned on some lights as I laid on the couch sneezing again. He walked over touching my head.

"Honey, your burning up." He said

"Can you get me some water?"

"Sure." He said, as he walked to the kitchen getting a glass of water coming back seeing I was sleeping.

I moved sweating looking around the room. Touching my head I could feel the fever heating my body. I coughed trying to sit up only to fall back.

"Hello?" I called, seeing if Brass was still there. Hearing nothing I tried again groaning as I tried to move. My phone rang in my pants grabbing it I laid back down.

"Sidle."

"Sara, I decided to come see you." Grissom said

"Grissom?" I asked

"I am getting on the plane now. I will call you when I land."

With that he hung up. Dropping the phone I got up again trying to stand. Everything was going around and around. I walked to the kitchen holding onto the counter falling to the floor to weak to stand. My phone rang by the couch causing me to wake hearing it. I moved my head realizing I was on the floor by the counter still. Looking back into the living room I could see my phone lit up ringing. Closing my eyes again I just went back to sleep. Grissom came to the front door many hours later. He was worried that I hadn't answered. Opening the door he heard my phone going off.

"Sara?" He called, setting his suitcase down closing the door. He walked around not seeing me anywhere. Picking up his phone he called Brass.

"Hey Gil, how is Sara?"

"Didn't she go to work?" He asked

"No, I tried calling her, but she never answered."

"Hmm." Grissom said, looking around again stopping as he saw me lying still on the floor hidden by the counter.

"Gil?" Brass called

"I'll call you back." He said, hanging up. He ran over kneeling down rolling me over. My skin was white with perspiration. He touched my head feeling the fever.

"Mmmm." I moaned, opening my eyes a little seeing him.

"Sara, can you hear me?"

"Gris." I said, weakly.

Pulling me up against him he smoothed my hair.

"Everything is going to be all right."

"Your….here."

"Yes, and I am not leaving you."

I coughed then I put my head against his chest closing my eyes. A cold cloth was being wiped over my head and cheek when I woke next. Grissom looked tired as he nursed me. I sneezed and coughed feeling some water going down my throat. Reaching over I took his hand squeezing it.

He slept beside me waking to check my fever now and then. Grissom was talking to someone on the phone in the next room as I woke. I felt oddly light and it seemed as if everything was brighter. I thought I had died and that my bedroom was heaven. Moving my head to the side I saw him enter the room sitting down on the bed touching my head.

"Your fever is gone." He said, sighing.

"Am I dead?" I asked

"No."

"Are you real?"

He smiled leaning down kissing my head.

"Do I feel real?" He asked

"What day is this?"

"It is Saturday, four days to the day I found you."

"Four days?"

"Yes."

I swallowed as he lifted a glass up to my lips. Drinking the water made my insides happy. I laid back sighing as he put the glass on the table.

"Sara, I decided to move back here for good."

"Do I have a fever?"

He chuckled feeling my head.

"No, you heard correctly. Ecklie called me and wants me to take over his job while he takes the undersheriff job."

"You'll be at the lab?"

"Yes."

I wanted to hug him, but I was to weak and tired. Instead, I took his hand. He started his job two weeks later going to meetings and supervising everyone. The lab needed an evening shift supervisor hiring a man named George Hemming. He was a lot like Ecklie and I knew we were not going to get on. He chose me to go with him on a case. As I sat in the passenger side I could feel his cool eyes on me.

Brass stood waiting for us as we stopped in front of the house.

"Hey." I said, walking up to him.

"What do we got?" George asked

"Two bodies in the kitchen looks like an axe killed them. Their son Jason, aged nine was found holding the axe in the closet with blood all over him. He's at the hospital in shock."

"Sara, take the outside."

"What, shouldn't we work inside together?"

"No, I can do it on my own. Check around the perimeter."

I sighed watching him leave as I gave Brass a look. Walking around the outside I found some footprints at the back door and proof that someone had come in that way. As I collected evidence George came over carrying his case.

"Done?" He asked

"Yeah are you?"

"Yes."

He walked away leaving me to follow. We drove back parking. I started to get out but he stopped me.

"I wanted to say something to you."

"Yes?"

He looked ahead then at me.

"I said this to the team and now I wanted to tell you. I do things differently than Catherine or Grissom. I prefer to work on a scene myself and I don't want anyone coming up to scare me."

"Okay."

"If you play by the rules we will get along. I talked to Conrad Ecklie and he gave me a detailed report on my team. Your name was of interest."

"Why me?"

"He told me that you can be stubborn and have a temper. Is that something we are going to have a problem with?"

I looked at him wanting to say something about Ecklie, but I kept my mouth shut.

"No."

"Good."

He got out and I just sat back watching him leave. Grissom came out of his office seeing me walking by with a paper.

"Hey." He said

I jumped seeing him.

"Hey."

"Where is the fire?" He asked, as I began to walk.

"Ah….I have to." I said, mumbling something he could not understand.

He came home finding me snoring in bed stretched out. Moving me slowly he got in hearing me mumble as I moved then I stilled snoring again. Chuckling he laid down closing his eyes.

When he woke I was gone. As he entered he could hear yelling making him walk over seeing me yelling in George's doorway looking in with fire in my eyes.

"He did it! Why are we arguing about this?" I asked

"Because I disagree." George said

"So everyone has to agree with you?"

"Don't use that tone with me, Sara."

I sighed looking down as he watched me.

"Look, the prints say he was there. The axe was in his hand. There was blood on his clothes. He even confessed."

"I don't care. I want you to go back and look again." He said "Go!"

I looked at him a moment then I came out to the hallway seeing Grissom. He watched me go past then he walked into his old office seeing George sit down looking at papers.

"Hello." Grissom said

"Gil." He said "I suppose you came to talk about Sara."

"No, I just wanted to see how you were handling things." He said, as he sat down in a chair.

"Well so far I can see that some changes will have to happen. Sara is my biggest headache right now. She likes to back talk."

"That's how she is."

"I know you are married to her, but she is trying my patience."

Grissom chuckled looking down.

"What?"

"I was just thinking about being in your place. Sara would try my patience to, but after a while we began to trust one another."

Brass walked over to the room I was in with my head on the table annoyed as I stared at the axe for an hour. He smiled walking over touching my shoulder watching me sit up looking at him.

"Dinner?"

"I can't." I said, laying my head on my hand as I looked down at the axe.

"You look hungry."

"I am."

"Take a break then."

I nodded giving up. He drove us to a diner up the road. We ordered sitting back relaxing.

"I started to think about being Grissom's father in law." He said, chuckling.

"It's weird."

"Yeah, so how are you and he doing?"

"Great."

"He seems happy."

"I don't seem him often, but at least he is nearby."

He nodded drinking from a cup of coffee as the waitress set it down.

"How do you like George?"

I wrinkled my nose shaking my head.

"I don't."

"Give him time."

"I don't think so."

He smiled looking outside. I went back to work after eating sitting down again looking at the evidence. Grissom walked in ready to go home. He saw my body slumped over the keyboard of the computer room. I moved when he kissed my head.

"Time to go home."

I stretched letting him take me out to the car. We arrived home closing the door Grissom put his stuff down and pulled me to him.

"Grissom!" I cried, before he kissed me. He pulled me tightly against him as I moved back.

"I am thinking about doing something." He said

"Letting me go?"

"No," He said, smiling. "I was thinking about taking you in the bedroom."

"What will we be doing?"

"It's a surprise."

I smiled letting him walk me to our bedroom. He closed the door going to work taking my clothes off me. I was amazed at his speed because within a few seconds I had nothing on except underwear. I tried to take his clothes off but he stopped me motioning to the bed. I got in watching him take his things off then climb into bed. He kissed me as he came atop me letting his hands move over my body.

I moaned closing my eyes relishing his soft hands touching my back. Rolling him over I wanted to on top. He seemed to enjoy my masterful mood when he moaned with pleasure. My lips went down his chest coming up as his breathing heightened.

He woke hours later not being able to move because I was still lying over him. He felt my breath on his chest making it tickle. His bladder screamed as he moved trying to gently move me off him. I moved to my back as he went to the bathroom. When he came out I was sitting up looking at his body with a smile on my face.

"Your in a happy mood I take it." He said, smiling as he walked over.

"You know why I am."

I grabbed his arm pulling him back then leaning over him as he laid there looking up at me.

"I like when you walk around with no clothes on." I said

"I think the feeling is mutual." He said

I leaned down kissing him then I got up looking back as he admired my body. We both went to work with grins on our faces. George watched me come into his office with the final results on the case. He took it looking as I stood waiting.

"Did you run this twice?" He asked

"I always do."

He got up making his way out the door. I walked slower feeling good. Brass brought the kid to the interrogation room with child services rep. George sat down at the table with a file and the paper I gave him. I watched from behind a window.

The kid confessed and was taken with Brass. George walked out seeing me.

"Good job." He said

"Thank's."

He nodded sticking his hand out to me. I took his hand shaking it then he left. Nick walked with me the next crime scene I was sent to. We both looked around seeing cops throwing up as Brass came out of the house holding his mouth.

"It's really bad in there." He said

"What do we have?" Nick asked

"Body parts all over the house. Internal organs are all over as well."

"Serial killer?" I asked

"Right now I would say yes, but that is for you to figure out."

"Shall we?" Nick said

I went in first hearing gagging sounds outside. The smell was overwhelming as I put my hand on my mouth seeing Nick grimace as he looked around.

"Man!"

"Where do you want to start?" I asked

"Here."

"I'll take the next room." I said, moving carefully around. I bagged evidence as David our morgue guy had his men bag the organs and body parts.

I walked outside breathing in fresh air. Brass was still there talking to people. Feeling sick I walked over to where I would not contaminate evidence and threw up.

"When you see CSI's throwing up it must be bad." Brass said, as he came over to me.

"It is bad." I said, before gagging again. He rubbed my back watching me stand wiping my mouth.

"Give me a hug." He said

I went into his open arms as he kissed my head.

"It makes you wonder why this happens."

"Who knows."

I moved back looking at him.

"You okay now?" He asked

"Yeah, thanks."

"No problem."

I kissed his cheek going back to the house. Grissom came into the morgue seeing us holding our breath as David went over the examination. We looked over at him as he looked at the body parts on the table.

"I heard about your scene."

"It was very bad." I said

"Yeah, I remember the same thing happening my first month. I spent the shift throwing up."

"As far as I can tell some of the parts are female and one male." David said

"We think there were other people in the house because of the amount of parts," Nick said "and internal organs."

I took a breath as David lifted up a barrel of internal organs.

"Excuse me." I said, running out. Grissom came out seeing me throwing up in a garbage can in the hallway. I stood up swallowing trying to keeping everything down. "I don't think I can go back in."

"Don't, take a break out here." He said

I gagged again throwing up water. Grissom sighed walking over lifting my hair. I stood moaning as I closed my eyes trying not to think of organs.

"You okay?"

I nodded feeling another spasm. Nick came out looking at us.

"Sara, are you okay?"

"Fine." I said, before throwing up more.

"Nick, can you handle the case for a few hours?" Grissom asked

"Yes."

"Tell George that Sara is sick and she needs some time."

"Okay."

"I can work." I said, before gagging again.

"No, you are coming to my office and resting."

I walked with him holding my stomach.

"I may throw up again." I said

"The bathroom is right across the hall." He said, closing the door to his office. I laid down on his couch as he leaned over me touching my cheek and head.

A knock came and George came in looking in at me.

"Nick said Sara is sick?"

"Yeah, she was throwing up outside of the morgue. I thought she should rest here." Grissom said

"Sara, you okay?"

I nodded slowly.

"She'll be all right." Grissom said, as he came out to talk to George. I slept as Grissom went to have meetings and then work at his desk. He looked over as I sat up slowly.

"My stomach hurts." I said

"You threw up everything inside it."

"I should go back to work." I said, standing.

"You have twenty minutes to do so."

"Great." I said

"Sara, just rest here."

"The case."

"George came in telling me your off it."

"What?" I said, looking at him.

"He said he would have Greg take your place."

"He can't do that!"

"I said all right."

I glared at him as he stood walking over to me.

"This case is affecting you. He thought it would be better if…" He said, stopping as I left the room. He followed quickly as I marched into George's office seeing him talking to Nick.

"You took me off the case?"

"I see Grissom just told you, yes I did."

"Why?"

"Sara." Grissom said, behind me.

"From your behavior I thought it would be wise to have Greg work instead of you."

"I am fine now. I want this case."

"No." George said

"No?"

"Sara, stop this!" Grissom said

"I said no and I mean no." George said

Nick watched us in silence.

"It's my case and no one can take me off!"

"Do you want me to suspend you?"

I stepped closer to him feeling Grissom pull me back.

"Sara, I want you to stand down right now!" Grissom said

I looked at Grissom seeing his expression meant business.

"I think I'll go." Nick said, leaving quickly.

"Am I going to have trouble with you Sidle?" George asked

Grissom squeezed my arm as I looked at George.

"No." I said

"Good, then you will be on standby."

I just turned walking out slamming the door shut. George looked at Grissom shaking his head.

"Wow."

"Sorry about that." Grissom said

"So that was mad Sara. Ecklie warned me about that."

"She gets worse."

"Thank you."

Grissom smiled leaving. He walked outside after someone told him I ran out. I stood by the cars pacing as I breathed in and out fast.

"Okay, you need to calm down." He said, walking over stopping me.

"That man is a jerk!"

"Ssh, just take some deep breaths." He said

"You take them I want to talk to him again." I said, moving past him. He pulled me to him hugging me.

"It's over, you are off the case and it is over."

"You sided with him."

"Sara, he was right to talk to you like that. I am sorry, but if it had been me I would have suspended you."

I sighed moving back.

"You were out of control in there."

He put his hands on my cheeks looking deeply into my eyes.

"Do you still love me when I am like this?"

"Of course I do. I just wish you were not impulsive when you are mad."

He kissed me then let me go.

"I have a meeting.

I nodded looking down.

In the break room I sat on the couch flipping the channels on the TV against the wall. George walked in getting an apple from the bowl on the counter seeing me. He took a bite walking over sitting down on the coffee table. I glanced at him then I clicked the remote.

"You going home?" He asked

"As soon as Grissom does."

He looked up at the TV.

"I think you are a great CSI, Sara." He said

I looked at him.

"Thank's."

"However your attitude needs an adjustment. I get along with the other's but for some reason you have decided you don't like me. I want to like you and I want us to be friends."

"Then put me back on the case."

"I can't do that."

I looked down sighing.

"Why are you a mad person?"

He watched me look at the TV again ignoring him.

"I hope you come talk to me soon."

He got up walking out. Grissom drove us home looking over at me as I looked out the window. Parking outside the house he reached over touching my hand.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said "I'm just tired."

"I can order take out and then we can go to bed."

"Okay."

I laid in bed looking to the side as Grissom slept beside me. My thoughts about what George said stuck to me and I had to wonder why was I so angry?

The team went out for breakfast including Brass and Grissom. As everyone talked about weekend plans I ate some of my egg feeling Brass put his arm around my shoulders.

"Kiddo, your acting as if your sad."

"No." I said

He pulled me closer so I could put my head on his shoulder.

"Aww." Everyone said, except Grissom who sipped his coffee.

"Knock it off." Brass said

I looked down as he held me. Everyone went back to talking.

"Talk to me."

"It's just I am such an angry person inside."

"We all are."

"I know, but I just don't want to be."

"Your life hasn't been peaches and roses. You have had a rough childhood. No one can blame you for being mad."

I looked at him watching as he put his fingers on my nose then he took his arm away looking at the others. I looked over at Grissom who nodded at something Catherine was talking about next to him. I moved over to him putting my head on his shoulder. He stopped listening to turning his head towards me.

"I love you." I said, whispering in his ear.

He moved his lips to my ear.

"I love you."

He took my hand under the table rubbing it.

George, Nick and I were driving along the road one night out of town to a crime scene. The chatter between Nick and George was nonstop in the front. I looked at my phone in the back as Grissom texted me as me how was it. I texted the brutal.

We turned around a bend when there was an explosion and the car swerved. George tried to correct it but the car had other ideas. I screamed as we went straight down a hillside hitting branches and trees along the way finally hitting this large tree at the bottom. Smoke rose from the hood as George and Nick stunned, moved the air bags to look around.

"You okay Nick?" George asked

"I think so." Nick said, moving his neck and arms.

"Sara, you okay?" He asked, moving stiffly around to see me. I had my head to the side where the window was before it was shattered with my head. Blood oozed down against the door.

George moved getting his seat belt off moving to the back to help me.

"Is she all right?" Nick asked

"She hit her head." George said

Nick coughed.

"The car is smoking. We have to get out." He said, trying to open his door. He groaned as his leg was hurt. George gently moved my head to see the wound which was bloody with bits of glass inside. Nick got his side open as he stood on the ground rubbing his leg. He came over to my door trying to open it. He pushed feeling it come loose.

"She's hurt badly." George said

"Let's get out and set her down then get the stuff in the back. I stocked the first aid kit the other day."

"Are you okay enough to help?"

"Yes." Nick said, reaching in to get me.

"Easy." George said

Nick groaned as he pulled me out with George helping. The laid me over Nicks coat then came back to the car to get supplies.

"Sara's phone is not broken. We can use it." George said, as he reached onto the floor to grab it. Nick knelt down next to me making George hold a light so he could look at my head.

"I have tweezers." Nick said, gently picking at the glass in my scalp. George looked around seeing the stars above. Nick got out some bandages lifting my head to wrap it around then he fastened it looking at George.

"We need to get her to a hospital." He said, standing.

"If you got up to the road you could call for help. I'll stay here with her." Nick said

"I'll be right back." George said, as he climbed the hillside carrying my phone. Nick pulled the coat around me as he checked my pulse.

George got to the top of the hill looking at the road seeing the skid marks the car had made. He looked at my phone dialing 911.

"Mmmmm." I moaned, catching Nick's attention. He leaned down touching my pale cheek.

"Sara?"

I moved my head to the side becoming still again. He sighed hearing George coming down.

"I called 911. They are on their way."

"Did you call Brass, or Grissom?"

"No, I chose not to." He said, as he knelt down looking at me.

"I'll do it." Nick said, grabbing the phone. He went up leaving George with me.

Brass ran to Grissom's office out of breath. He didn't see him until he turned seeing Grissom walking with Ecklie.

"Gil, there's been an accident. Sara is hurt."

Grissom took off with Brass as Ecklie watched them go concerned. Brass drove to the crash site with the siren blaring with Grissom holding on next to him. He told him what happened and feared the worst. They parked behind some police cars running to the ambulance. Nick and George stood seeing them coming.

"Sara, where is she?" Grissom asked

"In the ambulance." George said

"Go in Gil." Brass said

He nodded opening the door going in. The EMT looked over at him as he put an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth.

"Are you the husband?"

"Yes, Gil Grissom." He said, looking me over.

"She's been unconscious for a while with a head wound."

"Will she be all right?"

"I think so."

Grissom took my limp hand rubbing my fingers. The door opened and Brass came in sitting beside Grissom.

"I gave my keys to George." He said "How is she?"

"Unconscious." Grissom said

Brass reached over touching my leg as the EMT hit the wall telling the driver to go. They heard the siren ring and the motion of the ambulance. Arriving at the hospital they both walked along the stretcher until I disappeared into two doors. Grissom and Brass stood still watching the doors shut.

I moved winching feeling numb in my head. My hand was lifted up and kissed as I slowly opened my eyes.

"Hi baby." Brass said, as he held my hand.

I blinked at him as he looked over to my right then he looked back at me.

"You're going to be all right. There is someone who wants to see you." He said, looking over as Grissom leaned over me on my right.

"Gris." I said

He leaned down kissing my head.

"Accident."

"Everyone is fine." He said

"I think I'll tell them your all right." Brass said

I looked over wanting him to stay.

"Dad."

"It's okay, I will be right back."

I watched him disappear then I moved looking at Grissom who leaned down kissing me.

"Sara, don't scare me like that again." He said

"I dreamed I was on a boat." I said

"What happened?"

"I can't remember."

Brass came back in with the doctor. Taking his hand I watched Grissom move so the doctor could look at me. After a good report he left letting the three of us visit. Grissom had to leave to deal with something at the lab as Brass stuck around.

"Remember when I was shot?" He asked

"Yeah."

"I had a boat dream to."

"Did you see a light?"

"No, just a boat."

I smiled faintly. He kissed my head moving back to look at me.

"You're going to make it kiddo. You are tough like me with your mother's good looks. A lethal combination."

"Are you leaving?"

"I have to check in, but don't worry. We have our entire lives to make up for lost time." He said, before kissing my hand letting it go to leave. I looked to the window smiling feeling content and happy.


	2. Wooden Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara works through work and life and the fear of having a baby.

I ran into George's office high on coffee a month after the car accident. Fully recovered I now lived everyday like it was my last. George jumped seeing me run in handing him a paper. He glanced at it then he looked at me jumping around with energy.

"Ah Sara, how much coffee have you had?"

"I just drank my fourteenth cup, why."

"I think you should lay off awhile." He said, handing me back the paper. "It looks good."

"Thank's. I have Brass looking for the suspect right now." I said, fast.

He nodded watching me run out again. I ran to the garage seeing Sophia working on the car that we found with the victim in it. She watched me snatch some luminal from the table as I walked over spraying the back seat.

"No blood." I said "Well why wouldn't there be, he didn't die back here."

"Sara, you are driving me crazy!" Sophia said

I looked at her.

"What?"

"You have been talking to yourself all shift." She said, sighing.

"Sorry." I said

Rubbing her head she looked down again hearing me whispering to myself.

"Your doing it again."

"I am just going over the case."

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." I said, walking over to the other side.

Grissom came in seeing us still working an hour later. Sophia walked over looking back at me then at him.

"You have to do something about Sara."

"What's wrong?"

"She is full of coffee and she keeps talking to herself."

Grissom looked over at me as I stood by a table looking at tire pieces. He walked over hearing me softly talking to myself.

"How's it going?" He asked

"Great, fine…well not fine….it's an ongoing process." I said

"Good." He said, watching my hands shake as I reached over to touch a piece of tire. "Your shaking."

I lifted my hand up looking at it then I dropped it working again.

"I'm fine."

His hand touched my back as he leaned in close to my ear.

"Honey, take it easy and try to get along with everyone."

"I am."

He kissed my head then walked out. I watched him go then I eyed Sophia as she walked past me to work on the car.

Brass rubbed his tired face as he walked over to the CSI part of the building. He went over the shift events shaking his head to get rid of them. Grissom walked out of his office seeing him walking over.

"I am all in." Brass said

"You look it."

"I've been up for forty eight hours." He said, as he rubbed his face again yawning.

"I think Sara will crash soon as well." Grissom said "I've never seen her so jittery."

"I have once, but coffee had nothing to do with it."

Brass walked by as Grissom watched him go. Inside he worried about my behavior wondering if the memory of the car accident was affecting me. We came home and I was still wound up. Grissom watched me walk over to the couch in the living room turning on the TV. My leg shook as I relaxed. Grissom walked over sitting down next to me after ordering take out. He touched my leg making it stop.

"Sara, you need to cut down on the coffee."

"I know."

"I mean it." He said, looking at me with his boss face.

"Okay." I said, annoyed.

I felt his hand leave my knee as he got up. Turning he looked back seeing my leg moving again. We ate and then had some soothing tea. He slept as I paced around the room feeling tense. An hour before shift he found me on the couch lying on my stomach sleeping. He leaned over moving my hair from my face causing me to move to my side facing the couch.

"Sara."

"Huh?" I said

"You need to get up."

I groaned moving lying back down again.

"I want to sleep."

"You have to pay the price for the coffee intake. Come on get up."

I slowly got up glaring at him as I put my hand through my hair. George walked in the break room seeing me sitting in a chair holding my head with my hand looking like death. He grabbed water from the fridge walking over to me.

"Sara, are you okay?"

"Fine." I said

"When is your break over with?" He asked, checking his watch.

"In a minute okay!" I said

"Get back to work."

I stood looking at him mad. He watched me leave muttering to myself as I walked down the hallway.

Sophia watched me walk in to the lab snapping on my gloves as I threw things around on the table beside her.

"What's with you?" She asked

"I don't want to talk about it!" I said

"Bad night?" She asked

I sighed looking at her.

"Sophia, what does I don't want to talk about it mean to you?"

She stared at me as I glared at her finally looking down at her work as I went to work. Brass looked up as I entered his office slumping down in a chair looking down.

"I feel like everyone is after me tonight."

"I heard you were on a war path." He said

Sighing, I rubbed my head closing my eyes.

"Headache?"

Nodding I opened my eyes seeing him reach into his desk drawer throwing an aspirin bottle with pills inside.

"Thank's." I said, taking out two then throwing them back.

He watched me stand to leave. I looked at him watching as he motioned me over to him taking my hand kissing it making me smile.

"Tell Grissom he needs to get you home to sleep or I will deal with him."

"I will."

"Okay."

Grissom leaned against the car waiting for me to come out to go home. I walked out seeing him.

"Ready?" He asked

"I guess."

He pulled me to him kissing me. His hand came to my cheek as he searched my eyes.

"Sara, I need to ask you something. Are you having trouble sleeping because of the car accident?"

I moved back looking at him weird.

"No, why would I?"

"I don't know, maybe you are afraid."

"No, I am fine."

"Then honey, why can't you sleep?"

I looked down sighing.

"You can tell me."

I looked at him.

"Grissom, nothing is wrong."

"Okay." He said, standing.

I went to the passenger side door getting in seeing him looking at me then start the car. Grissom moved in bed feeling my side was empty. He got up going out to the living room finding me sleeping at the computer desk. He looked at the screen seeing that I was looking up my family history. Brass's name was highlighted and underlined showing his family background. Grissom reached down touching my head. I jumped moving seeing him.

"Sara, come to bed."

"I was working on something." I said, rubbing my eyes.

"That can wait."

I surrendered to him going to bed. Nick and Greg were in the lab the next shift looking at some crime scene pictures as I walked in seeing them.

"Hey." I said

"Hey Sara, can you help a minute?" Nick asked

"What is it?"

"Can you look at these pictures and tell us what this is on the floor?" He asked

I walked over stopping seeing a grisly sight. My memories hit me like a ton of bricks as I saw a man on the couch lying dead with knife marks all over. Blood sprayed the walls and the floor. I backed away from them trying to breathe.

"Sara, you okay?" Greg asked

I shook my head running out of the room. Greg looked at Nick. I slid down outside the building where no one could see me as I held myself hyperventilating. Everything came back even the memory of my mother being taken away. Holding my head I tried to let go.

Greg walked around looking for me when he saw George.

"Hey, have you seen Sara?"

"No, why?"

"Nick asked her to look at some pictures and she just freaked out running out of the room."

"I'll look for her." George said, looking around as well.

My phone went off as I laid my head back against the wall with my eyes closed ignoring the phone. George looked at his phone dialing another number. Brass walked out knowing where I was. He walked over sitting down beside me.

"This is a nice spot you have here."

I looked down not speaking.

"Want to tell me why we are out here?"

I moved closer to him letting him put his arm over my shoulders.

"My mom killed….my dad."

"I didn't know that. I'm sorry."

"I was a little girl and when I saw those pictures it looked just like the scene at my house."

"That must have traumatized you."

"I didn't think I was, but I am."

He kissed my head as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"What if I kill Grissom?"

"You are not your mother, Sara. Something made her snap. I have seen you angry, but never that angry. The difference is you don't let that anger get out of control."

"I told him about my past and he said the same thing."

"Great men think alike." He said

I smiled touching his brown tie.

"You have my blood in you and that changes everything."

We both looked up seeing Grissom appear. He looked at us both as he held his phone in one hand.

"Hello Gil." Brass said

"Hello, is there a problem?"

"No, just bonding."

"I see. Could this bonding wait until shift is over?"

"I think everything is all right now." Brass said, as he stood helping me up. "Well I think I have some work to do."

He walked away leaving Grissom and I alone.

"What is going on?" He asked

"I had a panic attack."

"What brought it on?"

"It's fine now."

"Sara, I asked a question."

I sighed walking over to him.

"I saw some pictures that reminded me of the scene at my house."

"I see."

He watched me come closer kissing him.

"I don't want to push you away, but sometimes the memories pop up and it may seem like I am bothered by something I really work it out myself."

"Okay, I understand as long as you do not drink anymore."

"I won't."

He touched my cheek then took my hand leading me back to the building.

We slept in bed together finally able to relax. I moved to my other side laying my head and arm on his chest. He woke hearing me snore gently making him sigh as he tried to sleep.

He got up leaving me to sleep taking over his side as I laid across the bed tangled in the covers. When he came back in dressed carrying a cup of coffee he chuckled because I was half hanging off the bed. Sitting down gently he put the cup down letting the smell hit my nose. I slowly lifted my head sitting up with my head hanging down.

"Coffee?" He asked

"Mmm." I said, reaching out to feel for it. He gave the cup to me and I looked inside seeing a small amount at the bottom. He watched me look at him.

"You have to cut down."

"Grissom, I can't work without coffee. Go in there and fill his up." I said, handing him the cup.

"Sara, you agreed to cut down."

I groan giving him back the cup as I laid back on the bed.

"I hate you."

"No you don't." He said, standing going into the next room. I put my hand on my head looking up at the ceiling.

My hunger for coffee became my main obsession at work. I walked into the break room eyeing George standing beside the pot holding a full cup as he read an article from a magazine he was holding. I walked over looking back to the hallway then I inched my way over seeing the large paper cups to hold double the coffee. My mouth watered as I reached for the cup seeing George look at me.

"Break time already?"

"No, this is Sara is going to kill someone if she does not get some coffee in her." I said, pouring some out into the cup.

George laughed moving away. I put the cup to my nose smelling the wonderful scent inside. I sipped it winching then I blew on it taking a longer sip. Closing my eyes I felt the coffee move around inside. A clearing of a throat made me open my eyes seeing Grissom holding a folder looking at me with interest from the doorway.

I coughed putting the cup behind me as he walked over.

"I see you are enjoying yourself." He said

"Not really." I said, looking down.

"Is that your first cup tonight?"

"Yes."

"I have to go to a meeting with the sheriff."

I nodded looking at him watching as he smiled walking away. I grabbed my cup walking out quickly.

A week later I was sent out on a solo job driving to a house among look alike houses in a row the only difference was that one had police cars in front of it. I got out of the car getting my case walking up the sidewalk seeing Brass looking at me sad.

"There is a woman inside shot in the head."

"Okay." I said, walking ahead knowing he was following me. We went in seeing the woman at the bottom of some stairs in the entry way. She was looking with lifeless eyes to the right. I stopped gasping seeing that the woman looked just like me.

"Sometimes this stuff gets to real." Brass said, as he stood beside me looking down.

"She looks just like me."

He put his hand on my back.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just…." I said

We stood there staring for a moment.

"I'll be outside." He said, leaving. I sighed, setting down my case getting out flashlight shining it on the woman looking at her. As David and his men took her away I walked around the upstairs looking a photos on the wall.

"You must have been really happy." I said, out loud.

Jumping I heard noise in the closet. Getting my gun out I carefully moved over to the door. My breathing was the only thing I heard. My hand went to the doorknob when it was flung open by a large man. I fell to the ground dropping my gun. He straddled me licking my shoulder as I clawed for my gun.

"You like the rough stuff?" I asked, as he breathed fast. I turned kneeing him and he got off me groaning. Getting away I grabbed my gun before he pushed me against the wall and we struggled for the gun. Brass walked to the clumps of people waiting to be questioned when a gunshot made him stop and run to the house with two other cops. He ran up the stairs gun in his hand quietly walking down the hallway. I stood shaking as the man laid on the ground shot in the shoulder. Brass came in looking at me then the man.

"He jumped out of the closet." I said, handing my gun to Brass. One of the cops leaned down touching the man neck.

"He's alive."

"Get him out of here." Brass said

I watched them take him out then I felt Brass hug me.

"It's okay." He said

I put my arms around him shaking still.

"Your all right."

I nodded tightening my hold on him. He moved back putting his hands on my cheeks looking at me.

"I'm okay." I said

He nodded pulling me back against him. Taking a shower at work was my first priority. I stood under the hot spray holding myself. The curtain came open scaring me as Grissom stood there.

"I heard what happened." He said

"Yeah, I figured you would." I said, looking down.

He continued to stand there as I looked over at him.

"Is that all you have to say?" He asked

"It's over, I am all right."

He nodded letting his eyes go down my body then up to my eyes.

"If you want to talk I will in my office."

"Thank's." I said

He closed the curtain leaving me alone to my thoughts. Dressing I worked on the case hearing that the man I shot was all right. After shift I made my way to my husband's office seeing him behind his desk on the phone. He talked as he watched me close the door sitting in a chair looking around then at him. Hanging up he threw his pen down on the desk sitting back in his chair looking at me.

"George want's you off the case."

"I knew he would."

"I heard that the victim looks like you."

I nodded looking to the side.

"David showed me and I have to say it was….."

"Weird?"

"No…more like troubling."

"Who knew I would have a twin." I said

"How do you feel about that?"

"I was creeped out at first."

"That is understandable."

I nodded looking at him. Standing I smiled leaning down holding my head with my hands.

"You are very cute today."

He moved up to the desk in his chair.

"You are changing the subject."

"I am trying." I said, giving him a sweet smile.

He smiled looking over hearing a knock.

"Come in." He said, watching me stand and slump again in a chair. Brass opened the door seeing us.

"The creep that attacked you is under arrest at the hospital."

"Good." I said

"Gil, are we still going to eat at that diner?"

"Yes, if you want."

"What is going on?" I asked

"I asked Gil to spend some quality father in law time with me after work."

"Captain Jim Brass is my father in law." Grissom said, sitting back sighing. "I can't get used to that."

"I'll meet you outside." Brass said

I stood watching him wink at me then leave. Grissom stood up clearing his desk then he came around handing me the car keys.

"Your making me go home alone?" I asked, giving him a pouty face.

"Sorry."

"I think I'll have take out." I said excitedly.

"I am afraid to ask, but morbid curiosity makes me want to. This take out isn't going to be from the Vegetarian Hut is it?"

"Maybe." I said, opening the door.

He groaned thinking of the smell of broccoli and Brussel sprouts that would make the house smell for a few days. I kissed him then I went home.

He walked out seeing Brass standing jiggling his keys waiting by his car. Once they sat down and ordered Brass started to speak.

"How did your meeting go?" He asked

"The sheriff wants the Stevenson case closed within the next forty eight hours."

"George will be mad at that."

"I told him when I came out. He was livid." Grissom said, sighing.

"I'll bet." Brass said

Grissom looked outside as some people walked by. Brass thanked the waitress as she set down a coffee for him and tea for Grissom.

"Are you happy being back Gil?"

Grissom looked at him thinking about the answer.

"Yes, I am. Are you happy?"

"There were a lot of years that I was not happy, but now having Sara in my life I think I am to."

Grissom smiled as Brass sipped his coffee. The front door opened to our house as Grissom came in smelling the food from the Vegetarian Hut. I ran over to him as he closed the door he turned feeling me push him against the door.

"Hello Doctor Grissom." I said, smiling.

"Hello." He said

"You need to give me the secret word to get past."

"Please?"

I laughed leaning over kissing him. He kissed me slowly then moved away.

"I taste alcohol in your mouth." He said

I backed away looking at him.

"Did you drink?"

"I had a beer."

"Just one?" He asked

"Yes, you really are not good at being seduced." I said, walking to the living room. He walked over seeing me sitting in a chair.

"Sara, why did you drink a beer?"

I glanced at him before standing going to the kitchen counter taking a folded letter out of an envelope handing it to him. He looked at it reading.

"It's from your mother." He said, looking at me.

I pointed to a spot he should read. He looked down then he looked at me.

"Brass wrote to her?"

"Yes." I said

"Did you know he would?"

"No."

Grissom read the rest of the letter then he gave it back to me.

"She has always been mad that I loved the man I thought was my father more than her. Now I have a real dad and she still is mad."

He reached out touching my arm.

"I am a grown woman and I still care what my mother thinks."

"Sara, you are a grown woman, but you're never to old to be hurt. You have to move on."

I nodded looking down. He lifted my head with his hand kissing me. I dropped the letter putting my arms around him feeling him pick me up then take me to the bedroom.

The lab hit a dry spell which drove me crazy. While the others worked on some theft scenes I was put on standby which meant standing around waiting. I decided to go to the police station and see Brass. As I rounded the corner I saw Ellie Brass standing by his office door looking nervously around.

"Ellie?" I said, watching as she turned seeing me.

"Your Sara aren't you?" She asked

"Yes."

"Dad told me about you." She said, looking me up and down.

"He must have gone somewhere. Do you want to grab a coffee?"

"You like him don't you?"

"What?"

"My dad, you like him."

"Yes I do."

She faced me holding her coat up to her chest.

"I grew up without him. When he did come home he drank."

"I'm sorry."

"Everyone feels sorry for me. Now you came around becoming his daughter. Where does that leave me?"

"Ellie, you're his daughter still."

She made a sound looking around.

"You know what? You can keep him all to yourself!" She shouted, walking away.

I watched her leave stopping as Brass appeared looking at her.

"Hello Ellie."

She looked at me then at him.

"Looks like you got the daughter you always wanted."

"What?" He asked, watching her run out. I walked over as he looked at me confused.

I followed him in his office sitting in a chair as he sat behind his desk.

"Maybe I can talk to her." I said

"No, just leave it. She always comes back wanting money."

He sighed, sitting back in his chair looking down.

"I got a letter from my mom." I said

He looked at me.

"She was mad."

"I bet she was. I should have told you I was going to do that." He said

"It's okay." I said

A knock came at the door as Catherine popped her head in.

"Jim, we need you now."

"What's going on?"

"A man in the parking lot is screaming."

Brass stood getting his gun walking out with her as I followed. He got two officers and walked to a side door. I heard the man as I neared the front entrance seeing Greg and Nick standing looking at him from the curb.

George walked over looking out beside me. He opened the door going out to talk to the man.

"No one will help me!" He cried, as he paced around the lot.

"I'll help you if I can." George said

The man looked over at George holding his head and seeing he had a machete.

"Help me!" He shouted

"I can but you have to tell me how." George said, seeing Brass and his men coming forward inch by inch holding their guns.

Grissom came over to where I was looking out.

"Sara, stay in here." He said, as he went out.

My heart started racing as I realized that there was a chance that both the men I loved could get hurt. I opened the door knowing that Grissom would be furious, but I had to try to help. I walked out seeing Greg and Nick looking back at me. Grissom had joined George who were trying to gain the man's attention.

"This is crazy." I said

"Yeah." Nick said

The man began shouting again as he raised his knife.

"Put the machete down!" Brass ordered

The man turned looking at them.

"Just put it down!"

"They told me to use it!" The man said

"I don't want to shoot you."

Grissom and George stayed as they were as the man turned looking at them.

"You are all animals!"

"Put it down!" Brass yelled again.

"I will kill you all!" He yelled, raising the machete running at George and Grissom. Shots rang out and the man screamed falling to the ground. I put my hand to my chest taking a breath as they all walked over carefully to the fallen man.

Grissom got his phone out calling someone. He walked over to where Greg and Nick stood seeing me standing beside them.

"You guys go back to work."

"Is he dead?" Greg asked

Grissom nodded looking back then he looked at me. I followed them inside knowing a lecture was coming. My hand shook as I lifted my cup of coffee to my lips in the break room.

I sat down seeing people walking around then I saw Grissom walking seeing me he turned coming in. I listened as he sighed looking down at me.

"I know." I said "I will listen next time and I love you to…..pookie."

"That is not going to work this time. There are so many things I want to say about not listening when I ask you to do something."

"I would love to hear them, but I think George wanted to see me." I said, standing.

"Sara, I am your husband and when I say stay I mean it. It's not to spoil your fun it's to keep you alive!"

"Okay." I said "I promise I will listen to you."

He looked at me still mad.

"We will talk more when we get home."

"I look forward to it."

He walked out as I sat down on the couch sighing. When we got home I went in and changed skipping food I went right to sleep as he ate then came to bed. When we woke up he kissed me and I knew we were okay again.

The cases started to heat up and I got one with George. We drove to the house getting the low down from Brass then went inside to inspect the scene. I walked carefully around to avoid stepping in the blood on the floor. There was a door that I thought led to the basement. Turning the knob I realized it was locked. George walked over as I knelt down picking the lock.

"Where did you learn that?" He asked, shining his light at the lock.

"I picked it up when I was ten." I said

I got it unlocked standing opening the door. George and I both shined lights in seeing something that made our hair stand up. Explosives, a lot of them.

"Ever been in an explosion?" I asked

"No." He said

"I have, it's not fun."

He got his phone out dialing. I looked up seeing a pipe bomb on the top shelf rolling a little.

"We need a bomb squad here as soon as possible."

I stared at that one pipe bomb as he turned off his phone looking inside.

"What is the plan?" I asked

"The plan is we get our butts out of here." He said

"Wait!" I said, as he took me by the arm.

"What?"

"That bomb is going to move when we do. If it falls we are finished."

"If we go slowly…."

"No, that won't work."

"Your not going to be a hero here are you?"

"You go on gently and I will follow."

"That makes no sense."

"Just go, I have a plan."

"I am not going without you."

"I got this."

"No, you don't." He said, pulling me away.

I looked shining my light at the closet seeing the pipe bomb moving. We got out the door running as we clutched our cases. Suddenly a wave of force hit us from the explosion picking us up throwing us down hard on the street as people screamed then nothing.

Sara!"

I heard someone shouting my name and coughing. A hand touched my neck as I arched my back coughing.

"Sara, can you hear me?"

I coughed lying on my side. Opening my eyes I saw Brass with a bloody cut on his head. He coughed as smoke was everywhere.

"Honey, are you okay? Is anything broken?" He asked

"No." I said, winching. "George?"

"He has a broken arm, but other than that he is fine." He said

I nodded watching him look over then at me. He helped me to sit up watching me winch.

"My side hurts." I said

He lifted my shirt then he looked around.

"I need an EMT!"

"Why?" I said, looking down seeing a blood stain spreading as a piece of wood was sticking out. "Oh."

The EMT's came with a stretcher putting me on it as they went back to the ambulance. Brass stood where he was watching as they put me inside closing the door. He got his phone out making a call.

I woke once again in the hospital in a bed looking around the room. My side had been bandaged as I felt the drugs working. I looked at the window to my left thinking about how I must be accident prone. The door opened as Brass came in with a basket of fruit and a large basket of some red flowers. I shook my head as he set them down on the table at the foot of the bed.

"Wow!" I said

"I thought you'd like them."

He walked over kissing my head as he smoothed my hair.

"You okay?"

"I think so."

"I think I age every time you are hurt."

"You don't look it."

He smiled lifting my hand.

"Grissom is in a meeting. He told me not to leave your side until he gets here."

I looked at him as he sat in a chair next to the bed still holding my hand. He looked around the room then he looked at me.

"You don't have to stay."

"Sara, your hurting my feelings. I want to stay."

"Sorry."

He took a breath as I moved my head feeling sleepy. I closed my eyes as he sat silently rubbing my fingers.

Grissom came in looking at me sleeping on the bed as Brass stood by the window looking out.

"How is she?" He asked

"Fine, the doctor's said she can go home tomorrow as long as she rest's." Brass said whispering.

The nurse came in giving me a new IV then she smiled at them leaving. I moved my head opening my eyes seeing that Brass was not there. Grissom walked over as Brass left kissing me.

"I am sorry for not being here."

"It's okay." I said, as he kissed my head.

He sighed looking at me as he let his finger go down my cheek.

"George said you were very brave."

"I was just doing my job."

"He is proud of you."

I smiled searching his face.

"So am I."

He kissed me again then he sat in the chair.

He took me home and with the help of the pills the pharmacy gave Grissom I was asleep all day and night. When he got home he tried to rouse me but I was dead to the world. When I did wake up my cell phone was ringing next to me. I slowly reached over grabbing it putting it to my ear as my face was in the pillow.

"Hello?" I said, muffled.

"Honey, are you awake?" Grissom asked, as he looked at a paper in the hallway.

"Mmmhmm." I said, moving my head to the side.

"I have some take out for you in the oven."

"Mmmhmm."

He sighed looking down the hallway.

"Can you talk to me in an intelligent way so I know you are all right?"

"What?"

He shook his head.

"Never mind, I will call later."

"Gris?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I am so happy we are together."

"That's the drugs talking. I am happy to. Bye."

He hung up looking at it a moment. I moved closing my eyes letting the phone fall to the floor. He came home early hearing the TV on.

"Sara?"

I came out of the kitchen looking sweaty and pale holding a pot.

"I was going to surprise you."

He walked over touching my head and cheeks.

"Sara, your supposed to be resting."

"I wanted to make you something."

He took the pot out of my hand's placing it on the counter then he took my hand leading me to the bedroom.

"I want you to lie down and I will make something." He said, pulling the blankets over my legs.

I put my hand to my face crying. He backed up in shock as I sobbed covering my face.

"Honey, what's wrong."

"I…I'm….such…a terrible….wife."

"No you're not." He said, sitting down touching my arms trying to look at me. I dropped my hands looking at him.

"Yes, I ….am!"

"No, you are perfect."

I shook my head looking down crying again. He smoothed my hair as I sniffed.

"You make me very happy." He said, as he touched my head again.

"You love me?" I asked, looking at him.

He leaned in kissing me then he touched my cheek.

"I couldn't love you anymore than I do."

I nodded sniffing. He got up getting a wash cloth wetting it before he sat down wiping my face. I laid back on the bed sniffing.

"Now I will make us something to eat and I want you to lay here and not move."

"Can I go lay on the couch?"

"Okay."

He helped me up and I went to the couch lying down. He fixed something and brought two dishes over to the couch. I sat up against some pillows as he handed me a plate. As I finished he took the plates to the kitchen loading the dishwasher then he came back with a glass of water and two pills for me to take.

"These again?" I said

"They are helping you heal." He said, handing them to me.

"By putting me in a coma?"

"Sara, I know you hate them, but for now they are helping the healing process."

I groaned putting them in my mouth drinking water. I handed him the water and he just sat there looking at me.

"What?"

"Open your mouth."

I opened it showing him inside.

"Tongue."

Lifting my tongue he saw the pills.

"Take them."

I sighed taking the water drinking then I showed him again. He nodded getting up to go to the kitchen. I laid back watching him lift my feet and sit down. He massaged my ankles as I looked over at the movie playing.

"I hate feeling loopy." I said

He nodded watching the TV. Soon I felt that feeling as the pills took effect. Grissom looked over at me seeing I was sleeping. He put a blanket over me turning off the TV. The next day I woke unable to move. Grissom had placed some juice and some crackers on a plate on the coffee table for me. I reached over getting the juice drinking some then I put it back looking at the crackers.

After a while I felt better getting up to do things around the house. A knock made me jump as I walked over seeing Brass standing outside holding a bag of something. I opened it seeing him smile lifting the bag.

"I brought food."

I let him come in smelling the aroma from the bag making me hungry. He set the bag on the counter taking out white containers.

"What is it?" I asked

"Chicken alfredo without chicken for you, and for me spaghetti and meatballs."

I opened mine seeing a large amount of noodles mixed in with alfredo sauce. He took out another container with breadsticks and salad.

"So how is your rest going?" He asked, as he pulled out a chair for me.

I carried my container over sitting down.

"I honestly don't know how people do it. I am dead to the world then when I wake up I am bored."

He nodded bringing over the other containers. I watched him go into the kitchen to get silverware and something to drink. He sat down eating.

"Well you are one of these people who like activity." He said, as he ate some meatball.

"That's true."

"When you have kids then it will change."

I looked at him.

"Kids? I don't think I could take that."

He smiled shaking his head looking down at his food.

"You would. Children change everything."

"I'm sorry, but the entire idea of babies makes me cringe."

"I thought that, and then Ellie came."

"Are you trying to telling me you want grandchildren?"

"Someday."

I watched him wink at me going back to his food. When Grissom came home I was sitting on the couch looking at my wedding ring.

He sat down beside me yawning.

"Hard day?" I asked

"You could say that." He said, leaning his head back as he closed his eyes.

I moved slowly to sit across him touching his face as he opened his eyes looking at me.

"Grissom, do you want children?"

"Children?"

"Yes."

"I don't know."

"Me either." I said

"Are you telling me that you are….?"

"No." I said, watching him take a long breath.

"I never thought of children."

"Dad brought it up today."

"Sara, if you want to have one we can think about it."

"I have and the truth is I like it being just us. Besides the prospect of maternity leave makes me sick."

"You wanted to know if I wanted one."

"Yes."

He leaned over kissing my neck gently as I closed my eyes.

"Let's keep that subject open for later."

"Okay."

"Now let's go to bed."

I returned to work a week later. The cases rolled in as if on a conveyer belt. None of us got much rest during the first three weeks I was there. One shift Sophia walked over to where I stood by the car waiting for George. She stood beside me smiling as she thought about something.

"So how are you?" I said

"Good, you?"

"Can't complain." I said

She nodded and we were silent again. George came out seeing us carrying his case.

"Well ladies I can promise this will be a night to remember." He said, walking past us to the car.

"How do you figure?" Sophia asked

"You will see. I had a hard time believing it to."

I shrugged my shoulders at Sophia as we got into the Tahoe. George parked outside a high school football stadium. We got out seeing the police walking around.

"Wait till you see this." Brass said, as we came towards him. He led us to the field and we stopped looking at four heads on poles and no bodies.

"Wow." I said

"Where are the bodies?" Sophia asked

"We don't know." Brass said

I walked over looking at the heads.

"What people won't do?" I said

"Oh there is more." Brass said, motioning us past the heads. We walked to an equipment building seeing the words.

How do you like this CSI?

My mouth fell open as George walked over to the words smeared in blood.

"Well I think we can say this person has a beef against us."

"Yeah in bold print." I said

I took pictures of the message on the wall after we recovered. Taking a long que-tip I wiped some blood on it looking at it. Walking over to the fence I looked over it shining a light around the long grass on the hillside. George walked over seeing me.

"Hey." He said, watching as I jumped dropping my flashlight. "Sorry."

"What do you need?"

"I just wanted to know how you are getting on here."

"Fine I think. I was looking down the hillside seeing if I could see anything."

He walked over shining his light over.

"It's worth a look."

We walked to the gate leading to the hillside. I took one area as George took the other. Flies buzzed around and I knew that a body was nearby.

"George!" I called, seeing his light shine in my direction. "I think I found one!"

He started over as I walked down. The hill suddenly dipped down and I screamed falling down it rolling all the way hitting a body.

"Sara, are you all right?" George called

"Yeah, there is a drop off!" I said, getting up wiping my pants off. I got my light seeing a body of a man lying on his back. As I got closer I saw that one of his eyes were gone.

"Does the body have its head?" He asked, trying to get down.

"Yes, but no eye."

He came to stand near me looking me over.

"You sure you're all right?"

"Yeah." I said

"This man looks like he was run over look at the tire marks." He said, pointing to the tracks across his shirt.

"His feet are blistered." I said, looking at the blisters on his feet.

"So this man was walking without shoes, he gets run over and loses an eye?"

"Sounds like a long bad day." I said

As we arrived back at the lab I could feel the bruises form. Sophia and George walked down the hallway talking as they carried evidence. I went to bathroom to look at my stomach area. I came out seeing my husband standing in a black suit talking with the sheriff. I stood there admiring his side view as he nodded talking. He said goodbye to the sheriff walking to his office shutting the door turning he was ambushed by me. I kissed him slowly putting my arms around his back moving them under his coat. Moving to his neck I kissed the spots I knew would drive him crazy.

"Sara, what are you doing?"

"I like you in this suit." I said, kissing him again. He pulled me back as I smiled looking at his dazed expression.

"I think you need to take a cold shower, dear."

"Come on, let me kiss the boss."

"No, you have to behave yourself."

I groaned trying to get him to let me go. He opened the door motioning me out. I went past him only to stop lean up and kiss him. He pulled me back again.

"No, Patience is a virtue."

"Not for me." I said

He closed the door and I walked away. He came home undoing his tie coming into the bedroom seeing me sleeping in bed. As he changed and got in I jumped up climbing over him kissing his lips. Moving back I looked down at him.

"You're late." I said

"Sorry dear."

"You changed." I said, disappointed.

"It's still me."

"I know it just turned me on seeing you in that suit."

"I think I can turn you on without the suit." He said

"Really, how?" I asked, smiling.

"You'll see."

I leaned down kissing him feeling him roll me over staying true to his word to turn me on. I rolled over the next day feeling his side was empty. Getting up I went to the bathroom then I walked out to the living room.

"Grissom?"

He came around the corner stopping as he saw me. I looked him up and down in his work clothes.

"You're going to be late." He said

"You're going to as well." I said, walking over kissing him. He kissed me opening his eyes lifting his arm to look at his watch. I moved back giving him a look as he lowered his arm.

"I should get to work." He said

I nodded watching him walk away. He stopped at the front door seeing me walk over to the kitchen counter. He looked at the door then walked over pulling me to him giving me a passionate kiss that took my breath away. I leaned against the counter when he walked back to the door leaving.

I walked to the building as shift was just beginning. George was coming out with his case seeing me.

"You're late."

"Sorry."

"Come with me." He said, racing to the Tahoe.

"What's going on?" I asked

"Headless bodies were found along the highway."

I got in watching him start the engine.

"What about Sophia?"

"She has to go to a meeting."

I jerked back as he backed up fast. We arrived seeing no police cars around. George stopped the car across from the spot the bodies should have been at.

"This doesn't feel right." I said

George got out his phone showing me the no service on his caller id. He looked over seeing something in the grass.

"There is something over there."

"I think we should go and call for backup." I said

He looked over at me.

"You have your gun?"

"No, it's in my locker at work."

He sighed checking his. He put it back opening the door.

"I am going to check it out then we can go."

"George, your breaking protocol."

"I am well aware that I am. Go out of the other side and try to see if you can get coverage."

I sighed watching him get out then I got out on my side looking at my phone. Walking around I heard something like a groan.

"George?" I called, walking around the car. He was gone. I swallowed walking over slowly seeing a flashlight on the ground. Looking around I turned seeing a man in black. I tried to run but he caught me putting a taser to my neck.

George moved moaning feeling the pain in his neck. He realized quickly that his hands were bound behind him and he was in a smelly trunk. The car was traveling as it hit bumps in the road. George could see some light coming from the hood. He moved closer but stopped when he felt someone else beside him in the same position.

Sara. It came to him. The gag in his over his mouth caused the biggest problem he moved his head over to mine poking his nose into my cheek. He made noise trying to rouse me finally giving up he sighed laying back down. I jumped awake feeling the pain in my head grow. I moved knowing already what was happening. When movement behind me caught my attention. I turned seeing George staring at me with wide eyes.

The car stopped as someone got out of the car. I looked at the hood waiting. Nothing happened as we waited. I looked back at George who motioned to the light shining in. Moving I peeked out seeing a barn with a light shining down. The man in black walked up to the large doors opening it he turned on the light inside. I noticed saws and other wood working tools along the walls. Turning to George I reached over with my teeth getting his gag off as he did the same for me.

"There is a barn with a saw he's in there." I said

"Can you see a lever to open the trunk hood?" He asked

I turned looking then I looked back at him.

"No."

I looked back through the hole seeing the man walking over with a knife. We froze as he opened the trunk looking at us.

"What are you going to do to us?" I asked

He reached down without a word pulling me out as he closed the trunk leaving George inside. I could hear him yelling my name as he pounded on the hood with his feet. The man walked me to the barn closing the door behind him. I shook seeing blood on everything even the saws.

He took me to a handmade box that was lying on the ground.

"Please I can't be put in that! I am claustrophobic!" I said

He threw me inside it and I screamed as he closed the lid on top of me. I moved around trying to breathe as he began to drag the box outside. I could hear something like a machine then something lifted the box up and drove somewhere dropping me. The box was dragged a little and with a thud was dropped somewhere. I screamed hearing dirt being thrown down and I knew I was going to be buried alive. I could only think that George was suffering the same fate. Closing my eyes I thought of Grissom wanting him to telepathically know that I was in danger. The air was getting thin.

With my almost last breathe I said a little prayer that someone would find me then I let the darkness take hold.

"Sara!" A voice shouted

George looked down as nick tried to open the box with a crowbar as he held a blanket over his body. Nick got the box open seeing me inside looking blue.

"I got her!" He yelled "She's not breathing!"

He lifted me out seeing George and Gregg drag me out. Nick climbed out helping Greg with CPR. George looked over seeing Brass and Grissom run over with Catherine looking down at me.

"Come on Sara!" Greg said, as he pushed on my stomach.

"Sara, don't you give up!" Nick said

Grissom looked at George who looked at him sadly.

"Sara!" Greg shouted, as I arched my back coughing.

They all let the breath go that they had been holding. Lying on my side I coughed feeling my hands being untied. I gasped trying to breathe as someone pulled me up in their arms smoothing my hair back. I opened my eyes hearing shouting for help as I looked at Grissom. My eyes closed and I laid my head against his chest.

A few weeks later I sat staring into space in the locker room. A locker closed startling me as I looked over seeing a person leave. Sitting on the bench I sighed looking down seeing my hands still shaking a bit. After talking to a counselor about the experience I felt better, but there were still signs that my experience was still with me.

I walked out looking around at people seeing that some glanced at me as I passed. George opened his door to his office for me to come in then he shut the door.

I sat down watching him sit at his desk.

"Okay Sara, your first day back. How are you doing?"

"Good."

He nodded looking me over.

"You have been given a good report from the counselor and I see no reason why you can't be out in the field."

"Great." I said

He signed a paper pushing to towards me to sign as well. I took the pen he handed out and signed. He watched me hand him the paper.

"Why are you shaking?" He asked

I looked down seeing my hand was shaking.

"It just does that now."

He nodded taking the paper.

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Well you can take it easy for now. If Nick calls for backup I will send you out."

"Okay."

I left his office walking around. Grissom was not in his office so I went to the break room to sit down and read a magazine. George came into the conference room seeing Grissom sitting down waiting for the sheriff and Ecklie to come in.

"Hi Gil." He said, as he sat down next to him.

"Hello, how's the shift going?"

"Great."

"Did Sara come in?"

"Yes, I just saw her. She seems like she is ready to go." He said, opening the file he brought.

"While she was off I heard nothing but complaining."

"I'll bet." George said, chuckling.

I stared at nothing in the break room as Brass walked by seeing me.

"Sara…..Sara!" He called

I blinked looking at him.

"Hey, you seemed miles away." He said, smiling as he stood by the door.

"I guess I was." I said "What are you doing?"

"I just got back from a scene."

"Nick's?" I asked, standing.

"No, Catherine's." He said

"Oh."

He reached for his radio listening to the voice talking.

"Ten-four." He said "I got to go."

"Bye." I said, watching him walk away. I sat down again looking at the wall across the room. For hours nothing happened Grissom saw me leaning against the wall near his office as he returned from a meeting. I stared at him with a frown as he unlocked his door.

He went in glancing at me keeping the door open. I walked over closing the door seeing him put papers on his desk. He walked over looking at me still frowning.

"I take it you had a bad shift."

"No, I'm just bored."

"You can help me with paperwork."

"What kind?"

"You can stamp papers."

"All right."

We got to work and for a while it was busy and then it slowed down. Grissom looked at papers as I sat back in a chair playing with one of his pens.

He looked over at me as he set the paper down in front of me then he sat back. I stamped it putting on the large pile at the corner of his desk.

He reached over taking my hand.

"I was thinking about something."

"What?" I asked

"Starting a family."

I looked at him with wide eyes.

"I know you said you are happy just being us, but I think we should start thinking about it."

"Okay con, I would be pregnant."

"Pro, you would be pregnant."

"Con, I would have to stop working."

"You would get more rest."

"Con, I would get fat ankles."

"I could massage them." He said, smiling faintly.

"Con, what if I lose the baby?"

"I would never let you."

I let go of his hand standing.

"Grissom, what if I hurt the baby?"

"Why would you hurt it?"

"You know why. My mother's genes are inside me."

"Sara, you will not hurt the baby." He said, taking my hand again.

I sat down again looking at the floor.

"I…can't breathe!"

He moved his seat closer holding my hands in his.

"Take a deep breath. Sara, it will be all right."

"I can't do it. I can't have a baby."

"You need to calm down."

I looked at him.

"Just think about it." He said

I slowly nodded. As Grissom slept after shift in bed as I paced in the living room. The entire idea of a baby was crazy. I knew I couldn't do it, but Grissom want's one. Getting dressed I went to Brass's house knocking on his door. He yawned walking in his robe to the door opening it seeing me.

"Sara?"

"Can I come in?" I asked

"Honey, you should be sleeping." He said, letting me in. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep." I said, holding myself.

"Come have some warm milk." He said, leading me into his kitchen. He yawned again getting a pot pouring milk inside then placing it on the stove.

"I shouldn't have woke you."

"It's all right." He said "Tell me what is wrong."

"Grissom wants to have a baby." I said

"You don't?"

"No, I don't. He said to think about it, and I did." I said, pacing again.

"Honey, you need to stop worrying. If it happens then it happens."

"How can I have a baby? I am not maternal."

"That's what every woman says."

"I don't want to ruin this for Grissom, but I just can't."

He walked over pulling me to him.

"You have to tell Grissom. This is not just what he wants it is what you want as well."

"He will hate me."

"No he will not. I have known him a long time."

The milk was hot and he let go of me pouring it into a cup. I took it drinking some.

"Dad, I am really scared."

He sighed touching my cheek. Grissom looked around for me worried as I was missing. He got his phone out hearing the front door open as I came in.

"Where were you?" He asked, walking over. I closed the door looking at him.

"I went to dad's house."

"You could have called."

"Sorry."

"What's wrong?"

I walked over taking his hand.

"Grissom, I don't….want children ever."

He silently looked at me.

"If I did, it would be to make you happy and I just can't."

"I never wanted you to just make me happy. This is not my marriage it is ours."

"Your disappointed."

"No, I am not. It's okay."

I looked at him seeing that he was okay with it. I leaned up against him as he put his arms around me.

"I love you." He said

"Good."

He chuckled.

A week later I drove to work noticing something was not right. The building was surrounded by police cars and the officers were kneeling down with guns ready to shoot. I parked getting out walking over seeing a cop stopping me.

"What's happening?"

"Shot's fired in the building." He said

"Is any one injured?"

"We don't know."

I walked away looking at the building scared. Getting my cell out I called Grissom's phone.

"Come on Grissom." I said, hearing an ambulance siren coming. I hung up trying to get Brass. When no one answered I sighed scared as the ambulance went by me. I looked over seeing some people coming out with the police. Running over I saw Greg coming out walking around upset.

"Greg, what's going on?"

He came over hugging me.

"They shot….Grissom." He said

I moved back looking at him.

"Grissom?"

He nodded crying.

"Is he all right?" I asked, trying not to cry.

He shook his head sniffing. I almost fell if it hadn't been for him. A stretcher came out with someone on it. I ran over seeing it was one of the lab workers. Shaking I ran into the building seeing two men lying with guns in the hallway. Looking to the side I saw someone lying on the floor with a sheet over them. My heart stopped as I walked over slowly seeing the dress shoes.

"Sara!"

I turned seeing Brass running over pulling me to him.

"Where is Grissom?" I asked

He moved back touching my tear stained face.

"Honey."

"Where is he?"

"He was shot." He said, watching as I sobbed. He hugged me again. "He went to the hospital with a stomach wound."

"He…can't…die."

"I'll take you to the hospital."

Catherine ran over to us.

"I just got a call from the hospital. He didn't make it." She said

I looked at her as she looked at me.

"Grissom is….?"

"No, he is all right. I was talking about Henry from trace." She said, sadly. "They told me Grissom will be out of surgery soon."

"Let's go." He said, pulling me along.

Grissom laid in bed in the hospital. I stood beside his bed holding in sobs as I looked at him. Brass came in looking at Grissom. He walked over touching my arm as I moved putting my head against his shoulder letting the pain out. He hugged me trying to soothe my crying.

I sat later looking at my husband rubbing his hand as it rained outside. He looked peaceful as he laid there.

Grissom moved his head groaning opening his eyes blinking to focus. I stood looking outside not sleeping all night. He moaned making me look over.

"Grissom?" I said, walking over seeing him look at me.

"Sara?"

I smiled with tears in my eyes letting my head fall to his chest as he lifted his hand touching my head. A few weeks later I laid with Grissom on the couch. He was enjoying his time off and I was happy he had survived. The movie on the TV became exciting due to a car chase, but I was not interested. Instead I turned my head and looked at him as he laid beside me watching the movie. He looked down at me noticing my stare.

"Every time I look at you, you are staring at me." He said

"I just like looking at you." I said

"You look tired."

"I can't sleep thinking that you'll disappear."

"Sara, I won't disappear."

"You could."

"Stop worrying."

I nodded looking back at the TV. He looked at me touching my cheek.

"We live in a world where anything could happen. You could die, I could die. The trick is to love each other and be happy."

I looked back at him watching him lean down kissing me. He moved back as I pulled him back down for another. After that we held each other content from then on.

As the weeks went by I felt strange like something was not right inside. I didn't tell Grissom because he would only worry. Coming home early because I was throwing up at work I ran to the bathroom with a bag. My mind was going crazy as I paced waiting for the pregnancy test to be ready. The timer dinged as I took the test sitting on the toilet looking down.

"Oh no!" I said, seeing it was positive. Throwing it to the floor I held my head breathing in and out fast. My memories of us in bed and my blaming this on my slack behavior after he came home from the hospital made me sick.

Grissom came home late seeing me standing in the middle of the room looking at him. He closed the door watching me walk over slowly.

I lifted my hand showing him the pregnancy test. He dropped his things taking it as I looked at him. He looked at me in shock.

"What is this?"

"It's a pregnancy test."

He looked down again then at me.

"What am I looking at?"

"I…I'm pregnant."

His eyes got huge as I burst into tears. We both just looked at each other.

"You're pregnant?" He asked

I nodded sobbing.

"Sara." He said

"This….is…terrible!"

He pulled me to him kissing my head dropping the test on the floor. Later I slept against him as he stayed awake thinking about this event.

"A baby." He said

The next shift I looked like death from crying over and over. Brass entered the garage I was working in looking at me the same way Grissom did.

"Your pregnant?" He asked

I nodded slowly.

"Oh honey." He said, coming over hugging me.

"I hate this."

"Sara, this is wonderful news."

"No, it's not." I said

He moved back touching my cheek.

"Baby, it is good news."

I hugged him again still hating it.

Two months later I was showing. Not being able to drink coffee was making me irritable. George saw me walking down the hallway holding a paper.

"Sara." He said, motioning over to him.

I stopped walking over to him.

"I heard about your disagreement with Sophia."

"I apologized."

"This is the third time I have heard about a fight involving you and someone else."

"It's been a rough two months." I said

"Yes, I know, but…"

"Can I go?"

"Sara, are you going to be nice?"

"I have mood swings."

"Try to hold them in."

I sighed walking away. George watched me leave then he went into his office. Grissom watched me come into his office slamming the door.

"Can you fire someone?"

"No dear."

I paced angry.

"Sara, you are tense."

"It's this no coffee rule. I hate this. Who says the baby will be harmed if I drink one cup?"

"Medical doctors." He said, sitting back in his chair.

"Men have the life. I would love to be a man right now."

"I wouldn't."

"I am not going to make it!"

"Yes you will."

I looked down touching my stomach.

"This thing is inside me and I don't love it."

"Sara, you are making yourself upset. Stop and just relax." He said

I closed my eyes taking a long breath.

"I want you to wait up for me after shift and I will give you a bubble bath and a massage."

I nodded going to the door leaving. Grissom watched the door close as he sadly looked at it. He came home finding me in bed sleeping in one of his shirts. Easing into the bed he touched my belly leaning over kissing it.

As the months rolled on slowly I curiously would look at how my stomach jutted out more and more. Looking at myself in the mirror in the bedroom became an obsession. I would run my hands over the smooth skin feeling the baby move its fingers with mine. My opinion started to change over time and I began to realize that this was not a punishment, but a gift. Grissom could see my mood change and he relaxed knowing I was making peace with the baby.

In the hallway on my eighth month Brass put his hand on my baby bump feeling the baby kick. He smiled leaning over kissing my head. My maternity leave started and even though I was not happy about it I still took it as a sign to fix a bedroom into a nursery.

I got up on my ninth month feeling a pain. Grissom was up getting ready to leave when I came out holding onto the wall.

"Honey?" He said

"It's time." I said

We raced to the hospital and the baby just popped out with hardly any contractions. Brass walked over quickly seeing Grissom looking in where the babies were put in beds so the parents and relatives could see.

"Hey Gil."

Grissom looked at him smiling.

"Hello grandpa."

Brass poked him looking in at the many babies crying and sleeping.

"Which one is ours?"

"The one in the front." Grissom said, pointing.

Brass looked in seeing a sleeping baby tucked in a blanket.

"Boy or girl?"

"Boy."

"Great."

"Sara named him James Brass Grissom." Grissom said

Brass looked at him then he looked in at his name sake.

"That's…..wonderful." Brass said

"I think it's a good, strong name. Hopefully he will be just as courageous as his namesake."

Brass felt tears in his eyes as he looked in nodding.


	3. Our Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life with baby seems perfect until something tragic happens leaving Sara to fear for the future.

Grissom looked at a paper as he stood in the hallway when he heard shouting coming from the front desk area.

"I want to see her now!" The angry man shouted

"I am sorry, but we can't let you in to see her." Nick said

I watched beside him as the front desk staff looked at the man nervously.

"That is my wife in there!"

"We understand that." Nick said

Grissom appeared walking over holding a paper.

"Sir, if you do not calm down I will have you escorted out of the building." He said, calmly.

"I am not leaving without her!"

"I am afraid we are in the middle of an investigation."

The man looked at him in shock then he fell to the ground sobbing.

"Nick go and fetch the grief counselor."

"Okay."

I looked at the man sadly as he held his head crying. Grissom went to his office noticing me following.

"Did you call the sitter?" I asked

"Yes, and he is fine." He said, sitting down in his chair.

"Good." I said

He watched me leave then he got to work. Coming home I yawned walking into the house waking the neighbor sitting for us on the couch then I quietly walked into James's room to see him. He lay in his crib sleeping on his back. I sighed looking at him happy to see him sleeping for a change.

Grissom came in seeing me coming out of the bedroom.

"He's sleeping." I said, whispering.

He nodded walking over kissing me. I smiled as he leaned over kissing my neck.

"You know it has been a while since we fooled around." He said

"I am to tired." I said

"Your up and I am up."

"James will be up soon."

He sighed looking at me.

"We have to spend some time together soon."

"I promise we will. We could both take an evening off, say tomorrow night?"

"I have meetings."

I sighed leaning in kissing him slowly then I moved back taking his hand leading him to the bedroom.

"Sara you're to tired."

"Get into bed." I said, pushing him onto the mattress.

He sat up watching me get undressed then I came over to him standing there in my underwear.

"Honey, I don't want you to do this now you are tired." He said

"When do we have time?" I asked "Your right we need to do this and quick before the baby wakes up."

He slowly nodded moving back onto the bed. I climbed over him kissing him. As I predicted James started to cry as Grissom and I were in the middle of things. I pushed him off me getting up putting on my robe leaving my husband to control his breathing.

I walked in picking my son up as he cried. Smelling him I knew that I would have to change his diaper which I hated. He stopped crying as I laid him on the changing table squirming around as I unfastened his diaper. The instant I opened it I gagged.

"Amazing that you can look at bodies and yet baby poop makes you almost vomit." Grissom said, as he walked in wearing a gray tee shirt and pajama pants.

"I made it this far." I said

"Let me do it." He said

"If you insist." I said, moving away. He chuckled as I grimaced leaving the room. Grissom looked down at the baby undoing the rest of the diaper.

"Just us men." He said, seeing James looking around for me. "I think your mother's milk has expired."

I made coffee as I rubbed my eyes. Sleep was the farthest thing from my mind now that the baby was up. Grissom came out with James in his arms walking over to the kitchen seeing me.

"Sara, go back to bed."

"I can't. I can take him."

"No, I got him."

I smiled walking over kissing the baby's head then my husband. I slept in bed as Grissom called into work telling George that I was not going to be in. He walked in to the bedroom leaning down kissing my head. I moved looking at him as he smiled.

"Your taking the evening off."

"I can't." I said

"I called in telling George your not coming. I want you to rest."

"You are the best husband." I said, with my face in the pillow. He touched my hair as I sighed.

"I'll have Angela take James."

I sat up looking up at him.

"No, don't do that. I want him here."

"Sara, you are exhausted. I want you to take care of the baby, but I also want you to rest."

I sighed nodding knowing he was right. He kissed me then walked out. I laid in bed hearing him talking to the baby was he walked out to the living room. He closed the front door and I closed my eyes trying to sleep.

Brass knocked on the door hours later seeing me open it looking down seeing a big bag filled with things for the baby.

"Dad, didn't we discuss this?" I asked

"I just bought a few things." He said, coming in. I closed the door taking the bag walking over to the dining room table lifting the bag up so everything inside it would land on the table. He watched me look at the stuffed animals and other toys. I looked at him with a smile on my face.

"What?"

"Your spoiling him and we don't want that. Just you visiting is enough."

"I only have one grandchild. I want to be the best granddad."

"You are, but this is to much."

I hugged him as he looked at the toys.

"Is he awake?"

"Go in and see." I said

He walked into the baby's room as I looked at the toys. The baby moved in the crib seeing Brass looking down at him. I came in standing beside him.

"Are you enjoying working with Sophia?" I asked

"Yes, it's good to have her back at the station. She is a good detective." He said "He looks smaller than other babies. Is he eating?"

"Every chance he gets." I said "The doctor said he is healthy."

Brass leaned down picking him up.

"Are we calling him Jim or James?"

"James." I said, smiling.

"Hello James." He said

I shook my head as he spoke to the baby.

"You're going to grow up to be a cop. I can tell."

"We don't know that." I said

"You'll be a cop." He said, glancing over at me. "I bought you presents."

I sighed walking out of the room leaving him to spend time with his grandson. Grissom came home smelling something cooking and hearing the baby in the living room. I sat on the couch holding the him as I watched TV.

"Hey." He said

"Hey." I said

He kissed me touching the baby's head.

"What smells good?"

"Take out."

"I want to change then I'll be out."

"Can you take him in to bed?" I asked

"Yes." Grissom said, taking the baby. I got up getting dinner. Grissom came back in some casual clothes looking at me confused as I laid a plate of food down for him on the counter.

"Sara, did Jim stop by?"

"Yes."

"With more toys?"

"Yes."

"I was wondering why there were more in there." He said, sitting down at the counter. "Did you talk to him about that?"

"I did, but you know how he is."

"Yes, I do."

"You should have seen him. He is so proud of James." I said, smiling.

"I know. He comes into the office talking about him all the time."

"It's really nice to see him so happy."

Grissom nodded eating.

I moved in bed later as Grissom sat up hearing the baby crying.

"Your turn daddy." I mumbled

"I know." He said, getting up leaving the room. I moved to my back listening to Grissom walking around.

The next month we worked hard shifts. I yawned as I walked down the hallway one night seeing Brass walking over with a troubled look on his face.

"Sara, something has happened!"

I looked at him walking over.

"Someone took James."

"What?"

He motioned me to walk with him down the hallway.

"We have an Amber alert out on him. Angela took him out to the park. She met with a friend leaving him in a stroller by a bench and she came back he was gone."

I stayed for hours forgetting about work. Grissom begged me to go home, but I couldn't. Grissom walked into the conference room where I was alone standing by the table lost in thought. I looked over at him watching him walk over hugging me.

"I know now what it feels like to be scared as a parent." I said "What if he is dead?"

"We will find him Sara." He said

I put my face in his chest as he held me to him. George walked in tapping on the door. Grissom and I moved seeing him.

"Gil, can you come with me a moment?"

"Yes." Grissom said, before looking at me. I nodded letting him go. Grissom went out into the hallway facing George.

"Brass found a car not far from here. A woman phoned it in because….."

"Because why?" Grissom asked

George looked over at me watching them then he looked at him.

"They found a body inside the car. A…baby."

Grissom closed his eyes putting his head down as George touched his arm. I came out looking at them.

"What's happened?" I asked

Grissom looked at me then he faced George.

"I'll meet you outside in a moment."

George nodded leaving as Grissom came over to me.

"They found him didn't they?"

He pulled me into the conference room closing the door. We sat down at the table as he rubbed my hand.

"Sara, I need to go somewhere for a while and I want you to stay here."

"What's going on?"

"I can't tell you yet."

"Grissom!"

"Sara, please just stay here and I will be back."

I felt tears go down my cheek as he pulled me to him holding me.

George drove a Tahoe over to where the abandoned car was with police around it. He parked looking over at Grissom who stared ahead.

"You know what this will do to Sara?" Grissom said

"I know, and I hope it isn't him." George said

Grissom looked at him then he got out walking slowly over to the car. Sophia stood beside the vehicle with Brass looking distraught.

"Is it?" Grissom asked

Brass slowly nodded before walking away. Grissom watched Sophia go after Brass as George touched Grissoms shoulder. The back door opened as a cop reached in picking up the body wrapped in a dirty blue blanket. He handed the baby to Grissom who cradled him. He unwrapped the blanket looking at the baby.

"I am so sorry." George said

Grissom nodded feeling tears go down his cheek. He leaned down kissing James's head then he walked over to the van that David the morgue worker stood waiting. Grissom watched him open the back and take the baby from him.

"I'll take good care of him." David said

Grissom nodded watching him place him on a stretcher in the back. I waited anxiously at the lab already feeling that my baby was dead. Grissom finally came back with Brass walking down the hallway seeing me standing by his office door. I ran over to them seeing it in their faces. Brass pulled me to him as I almost fell sobbing against him. Grissom looked at us then he looked down.

Brass took me to his office holding me on his couch as I cried.

"I am sorry, baby." He said "I am so sorry."

Grissom came in to the office seeing Brass still holding me quietly as I stared to the side against his chest. Brass shook his head at him as he sighed.

"Sara, I want to take you home." Grissom said

"I am not going. There is nothing for me there." I said

"Honey, you need rest."

"No!" I said, not moving.

"It's okay Gil; she can stay at my place." He said

Grissom left after that going home. He walked into the baby's quiet room looking around. He hunched over the crib crying.

Brass took me to his home helping me in bed in his spare room then he sat down on the bed holding me.

"Sssh." He said "It is the worst feeling losing a child. I remember the time my wife lost our son in childbirth. I never thought I would get over that."

"What do I do?" I asked

"There is nothing to do." He said

I lifted my face to look at him.

"Right now there is nothing you can do. You have had something precious taken away and it's up to other people to take over. Grissom is suffering to. You know I watched him today and he broke down. I have never seen him in so much pain." He said, wiping a tear from my cheek. "You two need to help each other. He has been really worried about you. I know he loves you and you need to show him that you love him."

I slowly nodded feeling him kiss my head.

"I love you, Sara."

"I love you to, dad." I said, hugging him tightly.

Grissom came out of the bedroom the next day seeing me coming in the house. I looked at him as he walked over pulling me to him.

"Oh Sara, I was just about to race over to Jim's to get you."

"I'm sorry." I said

"No, I am. I know I am not what you want right now."

I raised my face up to look at him.

"You are exactly what I need right now. We need each other."

He kissed me then held me to him. The days without James were empty. The person who took him was still out there. I gained strength through Grissom who took over the funeral plans and then took care of me. Everyone gave us hugs and cards which I put in my locker next to a picture of James.

When the funeral was over it was time to work and try to cope. The ongoing investigation took weeks and months. Sophia never stopped searching and questioning people.

I came home a few weeks later seeing Grissom come over to kiss me. I knew by the kind of kiss it was that he was only interested in one thing.

"Your late." He said

"Sorry." I said

"Your punishment will be that you must sleep with me." He said

I looked at him as he touched my arms.

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

I looked down.

"Grissom, I do not want to have another baby."

"I understand, but we need to move on."

"What if I get pregnant and that baby is taken?"

"Do you want to go back on the pill?"

"Let's just not do this." I said, walking past him to go to the kitchen. He walked in seeing me get some water.

"Sara, what is going on?"

"Nothing."

"I know when you are lying."

"I am just not in the mood."

"You haven't been in months."

"We just lost a child do you want to lose another?" I asked

"Who says we will?"

"I do, look outside it's not exactly safe!" I said

"You are telling me that we can't do anything because you are afraid?"

"Aren't you?"

He walked over touching my cheek.

"Sara, we cannot live in fear. It is a dangerous place out that door, but it is safe here. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do." I said, searching his eyes.

"I can wait till your ready."

I looked down as he left me to go to the bedroom. As I stood there I thought about what he said. He laid in bed as I came in looking at him. He looked at me watching as I walked over standing next to his side. He lifted the blanket and I climbed in lying on top of him resting my head on his chest. His arms moved around me as he sighed closing his eyes. We laid like that for a while until I moved up kissing him. He kissed me rolling me over till I was lying on my back. Closing my eyes I let him touch me.

When I woke he was gone. I pulled the blanket around my naked body walking to the bathroom. Walking down the hallway I saw Brass walking towards me.

"Hey." He said

"Hey, where you going?"

"We got a lead on the case. I am getting George." He said, walking past me.

"My case?"

"Yes." He said

I ran behind him to George's office. He went in seeing me come in behind him. George looked up from his desk.

"George, we are on our way to the location."

"Okay, I'll grab Nick." He said, getting up. Brass touched my cheek before running out. I watched George grab his gun and badge walking over.

"Sara, you need to help Greg."

"I want to help you." I said

"No, you are not to get involved, help Greg." He said, running out. I sighed watching him leave. Greg and I worked, but my mind was on what Brass and George were doing. Catherine came in looking at us.

"They got the guy." She said

Greg looked at me as I ran out down the station. I stopped seeing George and Brass with a man in cuffs walking to the interrogation rooms. The man looked over at me as I stared at him. Brass watched as I ran over enraged and tried to attack the man.

"Sara!" George shouted, running over to grab me. The man tried to get away from me as I screamed.

"You killed my son!" I cried, as I clawed at him. Brass pushed him away as George pulled me in the opposite direction.

"Sara stop!"

"Let me at him!" I cried "Why did you kill him?"

They disappeared as George pulled me out of the station to his office. He yanked me in closing the door struggling with me as I tried to get out again.

"Enough!"

He held my arms as I started to shake sobbing against him. He held me feeling me falling. He pulled me to a couch he had on the right of the room. I sank onto it as he held me. His phone went off and he picked it up.

"This is George." He said "Yes….I'll be right there."

He hung up just as the door opened and Grissom came in a blue suit.

"Brass just told me what happened." He said, looking at me. George let me go standing.

"I have to go to interrogation." He said

"I'll stay with her."

"Thank's."

Grissom walked over sitting in a chair in front of me taking my hand. I shook looking at him.

"He killed our son."

"I know, but you can't attack a person."

"I would do it again."

"Sara, you need to cool down. I want to hurt him to, but we have to keep our distance. If we do anything the case will be lost."

I wiped my eyes sniffing.

"I hope I hurt him."

He sighed rubbing my hand.

"I don't want to hear about you going down there again. Do you hear me?"

I said nothing as I looked down.

"Do you want to be put on suspension?"

"No."

"Then I suggest you get yourself under control or I will do that."

He watched me wipe another tear from my cheek then he sat back. The door opened as Brass came in shutting the door.

"He lawyered up."

Grissom nodded as I stood.

"I have to go back to work." I said

"The sheriff wants you out of the building." Brass said

Grissom stood looking at me.

"As of now."

"He can't do that!" I said

"He talked to George who agreed. You are on a suspension until further notice." He said "Gil, the sheriff wants to see you he is at your office and I am to escort Sara out of the building."

Grissom looked at me then he walked past.

"Grissom?" I said

He turned looking at me.

"I have to go to a meeting, Jim take her outside."

I watched Grissom leave leaving the door open. Brass motioned me to come with him and I slowly walked out. He took me out of the building leading me to my car.

"Go home." He said

I watched him leave me going back in the building. When I got home I sat on the couch staring at nothing. I woke to the front door closing seeing Grissom come in walking over to where I lay on the couch. He looked unhappy.

"What now?" I asked, sitting up.

"I have been in a meeting with the sheriff for a few hours and they want you gone."

I nodded looking down.

"But I told them you would not do that again. You can come back, but you are to be transferred to day shift."

I stood with my mouth open.

"Day shift?"

"Yes and they said this is your last break. You do anything else and your gone."

I nodded as he glared at me.

"I can't protect you anymore."

Grissom and I went to bed after that. I looked over at him sleeping beside me thinking how much trouble I cause him. He moved lifting his head looking at me.

"Can't sleep?" He asked

"Why do you put up with me?"

"Must be love." He said, putting his head down against the pillows as he closed his eyes.

"You are so wonderful." I said, touching his cheek.

"I think it's the other way round."

"If I were not around you would probably have a less stressed life."

"I very much doubt it." He said

I slid my finger down his cheek.

"I think you would."

"Mmm." He moaned

I sat up getting out of bed walking to the bathroom. Closing the door I went to the medicine cabinet turning on the sink as I looked for some aspirin, but my arm caught the bottle of sleeping pills which opened spilling pills all over. I bent to get them picked up when the door opened and I looked up seeing Grissom. He looked down seeing the pills on the floor. I stood as he bent down picking up the bottle looking at it then he looked at me.

"I needed some aspirin and I dropped these." I said

"These are sleeping pills." He said, handing me the bottle.

"I know."

We stood there in silence looking at each other.

"Why were you talking about not being here?" He asked

"I don't know. I was just thinking."

"You think I would be happier without you?"

"Grissom."

"I would not want to live without you. I hope that you know that to be true."

"I do."

He nodded looking down at the pills before leaving closing the door. I sat down on the toilet looking at the bottle as the sink ran. Grissom walked over to the garage seeing me looking at a tire on a table. He looked at my blue overalls smiling. I was concentrating jumping as he walked over.

"How is your first day?"

"Okay." I said

He touched my arm.

"Honey, I am sorry about last night. I know you would not harm yourself."

"That's okay." I said

He kissed my head leaving. I sighed looking down feeling blue. Brass walked with me outside to my car after shift.

"I hate day shift." I said

"Honey, it's only your first day." He said

"I know."

"Give it time."

I nodded hugging him before unlocking my car. I came home making a salad in the kitchen. The knife I needed was in the drawer taking it out I stared at it not noticing Grissom walking in from the front door seeing me. He watched me stare at the knife for a moment then turn seeing him.

"You scared me." I said

"Sorry." He said

I set the knife down on the counter walking over kissing him. He moved back hugging me looking over at the knife.

"Why are you here?"

"I was concerned about you."

"Oh."

"I think you should talk to a counselor."

I smiled looking at him.

"Why?"

"I have noticed you seem depressed."

"I'm fine." I said

He watched me walk back to the counter to cut some vegetables. I avoided his gaze hearing him go to the living room.

The next week I started to notice symptoms. My stomach started doing somersaults and I raced home after shift to do a test. I heart pounded as I waited then the bell went off. I walked over taking the stick off the sink looking at the results. Positive.

My breath came out hitched as I sat down on the toilet. Grissom sat in Brass's office looking at a pen he played with as Jim sat at his desk.

"She worries me." He said

"Sara would never intentionally harm herself." Brass said

"I know." Grissom said, as he threw the pen on the desk. His phone went off as he lifted it up putting it to his ear. "Grissom."

Brass watched him sit up some listening.

"Okay, calm down tell me what is wrong."

Brass watched him point to the phone saying mouthing my name. He looked at Brass then he stood.

"Are you sure?" He asked "Just calm down….take some deep breaths and I will come home."

He hung up looking at Jim.

"Is she all right?"

"She's pregnant."

Brass stood looking at him surprised.

"I have to go." Grissom said, leaving.

I sat on the floor of the bedroom holding the stick as I tried to control my breathing. Everything frightened me making me feel sick. The front door closed and I jumped hearing Grissom call my name. He found me where I sat. I handed him the stick and he sat on the bed looking at it.

"This is real isn't it?"

"Yes." He said

"What do we do?"

He looked at me setting the test down on the bed then he knelt down touching my arm.

"Sara, this will be a new start. This time we will protect this child and make sure that nothing ever happens. I will be a better father and you will be the mother you were before."

"I am scared."

"I know you are I am to." He said "I love you to much to let you quit."

I leaned up kissing him letting him hold me making me feel safe.


	4. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara is having a baby. As the months go by Grissom vows to keep her and he baby safe.

Grissom woke up as I moved around next to him. It was a month later after we found out I was pregnant and with that came the rapid tossing and turning that woke him up from a deep sleep every time. I moved up against him then I stilled letting him know that I was settling down. Closing his eyes he welcomed the sleep he desired. He understood I was troubled about being pregnant and that was what caused the movement in bed. He talked to me about it hoping the conversation would stop the worrying, but in fact it made it worse.

I moved causing him to turn and reach other touching my back.

"Relax." He said, quietly. As I stilled for a few minutes he felt that I would sleep better. The alarm went off for me at six. Grissom yawned moving over me to turn it off then he proceeded to kiss my neck. "Honey, it's time for you to get up."

I moved lying down again on my back. He slowly moved his hand to rest on my stomach.

"Half an hour." I mumbled

"No, you have to get up and work." He said

I kept my eyes closed wanting to lay in bed all day, but then I was woken by the familiar morning sickness. He watched me get up running to the bathroom throwing up. I came out holding my stomach as I walked over sitting on the bed. Grissom sat up rubbing my back.

"Sara, maybe you should stay home."

"No, it's okay." I said

He kissed my shoulder watching me as I calmed down.

I parked outside of a junk yard outside of town scrunching my nose as the smell got to me. Dan a fellow day shift CSI walked over handing me my case and we walked into the yard. Sophia stood waiting for us by a beat up car.

"The body is over there." She said, pointing to the beat up car. Dan walked over looking inside seeing the man.

"Wow, he looks like he was crushed."

"He was then he was dragged over here."

I swallowed feeling sick again.

"Sara, are you okay?" Sophia asked

I nodded, but then I dropped my case running back past the car to a grass patch next to a bush losing what breakfast I ate. Sophia ran over leaving Dan behind. She touched my back as I bent over throwing up more.

"Dan and I can handle this, Sara." She said

I threw up again standing as I wiped my mouth with my arm. She watched me nod quickly. She got an officer to drive me back to the lab. George walked down the hallway seeing me walking almost white down the hallway.

"Sara, you okay?"

I nodded walking past him.

"Wait up." He said, walking over. "Have you been sick?"

"Yeah, at the crime scene I came back here."

"You should lie down. Go into the rest room and lay down. I will call Grissom."

"No, don't call him. I worry him enough." I said

"Okay." He said

I nodded making my way to the room where the beds were. He watched me disappear as he got his phone out. The room was empty so I picked the last bunk bed in the row next to the wall. Laying down I sighed rubbing my stomach going to sleep. The door opened an hour later as Grissom walked in looking at the beds. He walked to the end seeing me sleeping on the bottom bunk. His hand went to my head then he sat down on the mattress smoothing my hair. When I didn't move he put a blanket over me kissing my head then he went out.

"Gil!" Brass called, walking quickly over. "Sophia said Sara was sick. Is she okay?"

"She's sleeping in there."

Brass let out a breath looking at the door then at Grissom.

"This morning sickness is really getting to her." Grissom said

"It did the same thing to my wife. They do get over it."

"Yes, but in the meantime she has to deal with it."

I still slept as Grissom came in the second time at nine o'clock. He walked over seeing that I had moved to my side facing the other bed. He sat down putting a bag on the floor as he touched my hair.

"Sara, wake up."

I breathed deeply oblivious to him.

"Sara." He said, louder.

I slowly moved my head stilling.

"Honey, I have some food for you."

I opened my eyes seeing Grissom.

"You haven't eaten all day, so I went out and got you some take out and then I am taking you home."

"Food?"

"Yes, Mexican."

I sat up looking at him interested.

"The doctor said you can have this once in a while." He said, lifting the bag.

We went into his office sitting down by his desk as he lifted out several containers that smelled like heaven. He opened one for me and I almost fell over seeing a vegetarian burrito topped with salsa and sour cream. He handed me a fork putting a napkin over my chest watching me put large pieces of the burrito in my mouth.

"I guess it helps to have a big mouth." He said, as he opened his food.

"I'll ignore that comment." I said

He chuckled eating. I practically licked the container clean then I dug into the chips in a bag with salsa. Grissom just sat back watching me eat. Finally full, I sat back touching my stomach.

"That was good." I said

"Glad you enjoyed that." He said "Sara, I know you are sick a lot, but I want you to eat more."

"I am trying."

"I know, maybe you can take more vitamins."

I nodded looking down at my slightly showing stomach.

Grissom moved in bed after we got home feeling me next to him sleeping. I hadn't moved in five minutes making him happy that I was getting a little sleep at least. I sat up quickly ten minutes later looking down. Grissom sat up looking at me as he turned on the light.

"You okay?"

"My stomach is upset." I said, getting out of bed walking to the bathroom. Grissom got up walking over to the closed door opening it to see me sitting on the bathtub holding myself.

"Honey, what kind of pain are you having?" He asked

"It's really burning." I said

He got some heartburn pills and a glass of water. I took one drinking the water then I waited.

"Maybe we should take you to the hospital." He said

"No!" I said

"Sara."

"I said no!"

He sighed kneeling down touching my stomach.

"It's stopping." I said, sighing.

"Your sure?"

I nodded as I sat still. He reached up pushing my hair back as I lifted my head looking at him.

"I feel better."

"I shouldn't have given you Mexican." He said

"No, I wanted it." I said, reaching over touching his hand.

He stood as I did walking back to the bed. I laid down as he did putting his hand on my stomach. The next shift I was having heartburn again. I sat in the locker room clenched in pain. My worst fear was that I was miscarrying. The door opened as Brass walked in seeing me.

"Sara, get up you are going to the hospital."

I got up seeing the look on his face meant to do what he said.

"Enough is enough. You are in pain and getting worse." He said, pulling me out.

"Who told you?"

"Grissom." He said

I groaned as he led me to the door. They performed tests on me finding out I had an ulcer. Medicated later I went home lying down. Grissom came in seeing me getting up. He kissed me then looked me over.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"I will make something."

He walked out as I walked out walking over to the kitchen seeing him getting food out of the fridge.

"Grissom?"

"Hmm?"

"Did dad call you?"

"Yes, he did."

I watched him get out a knife from the drawer then he looked at me getting a cutting board placing it on the counter. He put a pepper on the board cutting it carefully.

"I think you need to consider early maternity leave."

I knew that was coming. He could tell I was holding in my stubbornness.

"Sara, I know you want to argue, but I need to speak up. You are not sleeping well because you are worrying about the baby. That causes the ulcer. Do you know what harm that can cause the baby?"

"I am aware of that. I can't just not work."

"Why?" He asked, as he put the knife down folding his arms looking at me.

"I hate staying home. I want to be out there working."

"What about the worrying?"

I sat on a stool looking at him.

"I just worry about…..something happening."

He leaned over the counter with his arms stretched out.

"We talked about that. I promise I will let nothing happen to this baby or you."

"You can't be around all the time."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

He sighed walked around the counter to me. His arms went around me as he kissed my head.

"Sara, you will be protecting this child for eight more months. In that time we will figure things out and work on a safer environment. I will do whatever I can to make sure you feel safe. I just want you to stop stressing so much. I love you so much and I love the baby. Please try to take it easy and I will allow you to work, but only part time."

"I will try." I said, closing my eyes as he kissed my neck.

I turned kissing him on the lips. He pulled me tighter against him. I moved back looking at him surprised.

"What?" He asked, smiling.

"I am getting a craving."

"Let me guess…ice cream."

"No." I said, taking his hand leading him to the bedroom.

"Sara, we need to eat." He said

I turned kissing him again this time passionate. He groaned as I undid his shirt moving away looking at him with hunger.

"It can wait." He said, taking me in the room.

We came back out half an hour later in robes. Grissom went back to cutting vegetables as I opened the freezer taking out a container of ice cream.

"Sara, we are going to eat soon."

"It's your fault you said ice cream." I said, getting a large spoon out eating. He shook his head looking at me. "You know what this needs?"

"Whipped cream." He said, as he ate some off the spoon I held out.

"No. it needs some kind of meat."

He looked at me as I opened the fridge looking in.

By my third month I was always hungry when I saw food. Grissom tried to stop me from eating so much even joking that I might have more than one baby inside me.

I noticed that I was becoming bigger than my last time and I wondered if I was carrying more than one baby. The doctor did an ultrasound one week with Grissom leaning over me to see the computer screen. I watched him looking for a sign we were having a boy.

"The baby looks healthy." She said "You can see the spinal cord."

"Looks good." Grissom said

"I can tell you the sex." She said, looking at us.

Grissom looked at me seeing me nod then he looked at the doctor.

"It's a girl."

I sighed looking at Grissom. He leaned over kissing my head.

"Wait there is something else here." She said, looking moving the sensor over my belly.

"Another baby?" I asked

She looked closer as Grissom looked holding my hand.

"Huh." She said

"What's wrong?" Grissom asked

She looked at us smiling.

"I see another baby."

"Another?" Grissom asked

"Yes, it is lodged behind the girl, but it looks healthy as well. I think I can tell you what sex it is."

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the right. She moved the sensor gasping as I did. There on the screen was yet another.

"I need to sit down." Grissom said, sitting in a chair behind him.

"Well it appears you are having triplets." She said "It's amazing."

"Grissom we are having three babies!" I said, looking at him.

"I can tell you that one of them in a boy and the other….is a girl."

"I hope that is all." Grissom said

"Yes, don't worry I don't see anymore." She said "Sara, having three babies can be difficult. We may have to do a C-section which means you will have to come in early. Don't worry I have done them for years and I can get the babies out in sixty seconds."

"When should she stop working?" Grissom asked

"Well considering the extra baby I would say by your sixth month."

Grissom walked with me to the car looking at me as I was in shock. We got into the car and he leaned over kissing me slowly. A moment later he moved back.

"What was that for?" I asked

"Three babies."

"How can this be happening?" I asked

"It's a miracle, Sara."

"I just hope we can handle this."

"I told you everything will be all right." He said

I nodded looking at his lips. Brass stood outside the lab waiting on us to come back. I smiled running over to him hugging him.

"I guess you have good news." He said

"Yes and we know what we are having." I said, moving back.

"Well I am guessing a girl." He said

"Yes," Grissom said "and a boy."

"Twins?" He asked

"And another girl." I said

Brass stood back looking at us in amazement.

"Triplets!"

Grissom rubbed his head nodding as Brass pulled me back against him laughing.

"That is the best present you could have given me!"

I moved back as Grissom sighed walking past us to the building while Brass and I talked excitedly.

I walked to Grissom's office ten minutes later seeing he was on the phone at his desk. He looked at me as he said goodbye hanging up. I leaned on the desk smiling.

"Hello daddy."

He shook his head sitting back in his chair.

"I think now that the shock is over we should talk about buying a new house."

"Okay." I said

"I think we should look for a four bedroom house close to work."

"I agree." I said

He stood watching me smile at him.

"Are you going to be smiling till the babies are born?"

"Yes."

"Good, because you are beautiful when you do." He said

Grissom looked at several houses around the neighborhood we wanted to live in. He took me along a street one day on our day off to a gated community. I smiled looking at the large gate opening for us. Grissom drove through looking at the homes on each side. The houses were large and immaculately kept with gardeners working on beautiful flower gardens around the houses.

"Do you like it?" He asked

"Yes, I like the gate." I said

He chuckled looking over at me.

"I meant the houses."

"Yes, I like them."

"Good. There are security guards that patrol and a protected park." He said, turning down a street then into a driveway stopping.

I got out looking at the large stone house with a nice flower garden and trees.

"It's very quiet here." I said

"Come on." He said, walking to the stone stairs leading to a large porch. He took out some keys unlocking the door.

"Grissom, where is the realtor?"

"I bought this for us." He said

I smiled hugging him.

"I just want you to be safe."

I moved back waiting as he opened the door motioning me to go through. I went in gasping seeing a large open living room with the stairs on the right of the room made of old wood. Grissom closed the door watching me look around. I went into a room that was in the back of the house already deciding on that room being a dining room then I opened another door next to it seeing a large kitchen with a back door. Grissom walked into the kitchen seeing me walking around looking at the new fridge and stove. I turned looking at him.

"It's perfect."

"Look outside." He said

I walked over looking out to the back yard seeing a large fenced yard with a swimming pool and a large tree with a tree house built among the branches.

"Wow!"

"I am not done surprising you." He said

I smiled walking with him to the stairs. We went up hearing the wood creak. Grissom opened up the first door we came to telling me that was the master bedroom. He pulled me away from it to go the next room.

"This is the surprise. I hope you like it." He said

He opened the door allowing me to go in. I stopped looking around seeing that he had put together a baby room. Tears went down my cheeks as I sniffed looking at the changing table supplied with diapers and the other things I would need. Grissom looked at the toys scattered around the room on shelves.

"Your dad helped me. The other bedrooms are like this to." He said "Plus I had intercoms put in every room and a security alarm."

I turned walking over to him hugging him crying against his chest. He held me feeling his eyes moisten as well.

Brass was in his office as I walked in a few days later. He smiled at me as I walked over kissing his cheek.

"You saw the house?"

"It's just…perfect."

He nodded standing hugging me.

"Thank you." I said

He kissed my head.

We moved into our new house and for the first time in months I slept without tossing and turning. One day in my fourth month I called in sick. I felt off as if something was wrong inside. Grissom dragged me to the doctors and we were told I lost one of the girls. Despite being heartbroken I had still two children to take care of. Grissom demanded I stop working after that. I rested and ate going out getting baby clothes.

Grissom came home late not seeing me. He walked to the kitchen then he went up to our bedroom.

"Sara?"

He walked in the room when I pushed him onto the bed. He looked up at me wearing a black maternity tank top and black pants. I smiled down at him.

"I have been waiting for you." I said

"I see that." He said

"How do you feel?"

"I feel great except my ankles are swollen and one of the babies are kicking me." I said, undoing his pant belt.

He put his hand on my stomach feeling a tremendous kick.

"Must be the girl." He said

I chuckled undoing his pants.

"I have not been in the mood for weeks and today that ends."

"Honey, your father is coming over soon."

I climbed over him undoing my pants.

"I don't care at this point." I said

He watched me undress then lean over kissing him. Brass came an hour later with take out. Grissom smiled at me as I walked around him in the dining room giving Brass a glass of water.

"Thank's honey." He said

I sat down near him feeling him take my hand rubbing it.

"Thought of names?" He asked

"I thought of Albert Einstein, but Sara vetoed that."

"It doesn't go with Grissom." I said

"Then I said let's call the girl Curie after Madame Curie." Grissom said, looking over at me.

"Curie Grissom?" I said

Brass chuckled as he ate.

"We could name her after your mom."

"No." I said, as I lifted my fork to eat.

"Okay we'll think of something else."

Brass sat back looking at us as he thought.

"How about Bert and Gert?"

I looked at Brass as Grissom laughed.

"Bert and Gert Grissom." I said

"It has a ring to it."

I rubbed my head as he laughed.

"I think we should keep choosing." Grissom said

I looked at myself in the seventh month in the bathroom mirror. My belly looked like I swallowed two watermelons. The babies were active that month kicking and poking me. Grissom would rub my ankles and listening to my complaints about being pregnant then he would prepare something I wanted. When I slept he would be up touching my moving belly.

At eight months I was feeling uncomfortable. Grissom told me that I was beautiful even though I knew the truth. Towards the end I was taken to the hospital for the c section. Grissom dressed in the hospital scrubs held my hand as the doctor started to cut into my skin.

"Okay Sara, just relax and think good thoughts." The doctor said

I nodded squeezing Grissom's hand. He looked over watching the staff work. I felt a tug then a loud cry coming from one of the babies.

"Here's the big girl." The doctor said, giving her to one of the nurses. I watched as the nurse walked over showing us the baby.

Grissom watched as the nurse walked away with our daughter just as we heard another cry. This one was loud almost screaming.

"Here's the small boy." The doctor said

Grissom looked relieved as he watched the doctor hand him over to another nurse. I looked at him then at the baby the nurse brought over for us to see.

"He has a full head of hair." She said

Grissom smiled as the woman walked away. He leaned over kissing me then stood watching again as they cared for our children. I slept in a room as Grissom walked around holding our new born son. He looked over at me then at the other baby lying in the two baby crib next to the bed. Our son yawned slowly opening his eyes looking at Grissom.

"Hello."

The door opened as Brass came in carrying flowers with some balloons. He set them down on a table at the foot of the bed walking over to Grissom.

"This is your grandson." Grissom said, quietly.

"Does he have a name yet?"

"No." Grissom said, handing the baby over to Brass.

"Hey, no crying." He said, as the baby started to whimper. "Someone needs to comb your hair."

Grissom smiled as he watched Brass look at the bundled up baby.

"How's Sara?"

"Great, just tired."

Brass looked over at me then he walked over looking at the girl in the crib sleeping.

"She looks like Sara."

"Yeah."

I moved opening my eyes seeing them. I smiled looking down at my son.

"Hey honey."

"Hey."

"It's time to think of names."

"I think Olivia Anne for her and George James for him." Grissom said

"Good names." Brass said

I smiled reaching over taking Grissoms hand. A few days later we came into our home with the baby's. Grissom took both of them up to their rooms as I sat on the steps. He came back down turning on the intercom then he sat down next to me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just have never been this happy and it's weird. There has always been something wrong. Now there is nothing wrong and I feel like there should be."

He put his arm around me.

"Thank you." I said, watching him look at me. "You have given me so much. I wish I could repay you for everything you have done."

He kissed me slowly then held me close to him.

Grissom woke up as I moved around next to him. It was a month later after we found out I was pregnant and with that came the rapid tossing and turning that woke him up from a deep sleep every time. I moved up against him then I stilled letting him know that I was settling down. Closing his eyes he welcomed the sleep he desired. He understood I was troubled about being pregnant and that was what caused the movement in bed. He talked to me about it hoping the conversation would stop the worrying, but in fact it made it worse.

I moved causing him to turn and reach other touching my back.

"Relax." He said, quietly. As I stilled for a few minutes he felt that I would sleep better. The alarm went off for me at six. Grissom yawned moving over me to turn it off then he proceeded to kiss my neck. "Honey, it's time for you to get up."

I moved lying down again on my back. He slowly moved his hand to rest on my stomach.

"Half an hour." I mumbled

"No, you have to get up and work." He said

I kept my eyes closed wanting to lay in bed all day, but then I was woken by the familiar morning sickness. He watched me get up running to the bathroom throwing up. I came out holding my stomach as I walked over sitting on the bed. Grissom sat up rubbing my back.

"Sara, maybe you should stay home."

"No, it's okay." I said

He kissed my shoulder watching me as I calmed down.

I parked outside of a junk yard outside of town scrunching my nose as the smell got to me. Dan a fellow day shift CSI walked over handing me my case and we walked into the yard. Sophia stood waiting for us by a beat up car.

"The body is over there." She said, pointing to the beat up car. Dan walked over looking inside seeing the man.

"Wow, he looks like he was crushed."

"He was then he was dragged over here."

I swallowed feeling sick again.

"Sara, are you okay?" Sophia asked

I nodded, but then I dropped my case running back past the car to a grass patch next to a bush losing what breakfast I ate. Sophia ran over leaving Dan behind. She touched my back as I bent over throwing up more.

"Dan and I can handle this, Sara." She said

I threw up again standing as I wiped my mouth with my arm. She watched me nod quickly. She got an officer to drive me back to the lab. George walked down the hallway seeing me walking almost white down the hallway.

"Sara, you okay?"

I nodded walking past him.

"Wait up." He said, walking over. "Have you been sick?"

"Yeah, at the crime scene I came back here."

"You should lie down. Go into the rest room and lay down. I will call Grissom."

"No, don't call him. I worry him enough." I said

"Okay." He said

I nodded making my way to the room where the beds were. He watched me disappear as he got his phone out. The room was empty so I picked the last bunk bed in the row next to the wall. Laying down I sighed rubbing my stomach going to sleep. The door opened an hour later as Grissom walked in looking at the beds. He walked to the end seeing me sleeping on the bottom bunk. His hand went to my head then he sat down on the mattress smoothing my hair. When I didn't move he put a blanket over me kissing my head then he went out.

"Gil!" Brass called, walking quickly over. "Sophia said Sara was sick. Is she okay?"

"She's sleeping in there."

Brass let out a breath looking at the door then at Grissom.

"This morning sickness is really getting to her." Grissom said

"It did the same thing to my wife. They do get over it."

"Yes, but in the meantime she has to deal with it."

I still slept as Grissom came in the second time at nine o'clock. He walked over seeing that I had moved to my side facing the other bed. He sat down putting a bag on the floor as he touched my hair.

"Sara, wake up."

I breathed deeply oblivious to him.

"Sara." He said, louder.

I slowly moved my head stilling.

"Honey, I have some food for you."

I opened my eyes seeing Grissom.

"You haven't eaten all day, so I went out and got you some take out and then I am taking you home."

"Food?"

"Yes, Mexican."

I sat up looking at him interested.

"The doctor said you can have this once in a while." He said, lifting the bag.

We went into his office sitting down by his desk as he lifted out several containers that smelled like heaven. He opened one for me and I almost fell over seeing a vegetarian burrito topped with salsa and sour cream. He handed me a fork putting a napkin over my chest watching me put large pieces of the burrito in my mouth.

"I guess it helps to have a big mouth." He said, as he opened his food.

"I'll ignore that comment." I said

He chuckled eating. I practically licked the container clean then I dug into the chips in a bag with salsa. Grissom just sat back watching me eat. Finally full, I sat back touching my stomach.

"That was good." I said

"Glad you enjoyed that." He said "Sara, I know you are sick a lot, but I want you to eat more."

"I am trying."

"I know, maybe you can take more vitamins."

I nodded looking down at my slightly showing stomach.

Grissom moved in bed after we got home feeling me next to him sleeping. I hadn't moved in five minutes making him happy that I was getting a little sleep at least. I sat up quickly ten minutes later looking down. Grissom sat up looking at me as he turned on the light.

"You okay?"

"My stomach is upset." I said, getting out of bed walking to the bathroom. Grissom got up walking over to the closed door opening it to see me sitting on the bathtub holding myself.

"Honey, what kind of pain are you having?" He asked

"It's really burning." I said

He got some heartburn pills and a glass of water. I took one drinking the water then I waited.

"Maybe we should take you to the hospital." He said

"No!" I said

"Sara."

"I said no!"

He sighed kneeling down touching my stomach.

"It's stopping." I said, sighing.

"Your sure?"

I nodded as I sat still. He reached up pushing my hair back as I lifted my head looking at him.

"I feel better."

"I shouldn't have given you Mexican." He said

"No, I wanted it." I said, reaching over touching his hand.

He stood as I did walking back to the bed. I laid down as he did putting his hand on my stomach. The next shift I was having heartburn again. I sat in the locker room clenched in pain. My worst fear was that I was miscarrying. The door opened as Brass walked in seeing me.

"Sara, get up you are going to the hospital."

I got up seeing the look on his face meant to do what he said.

"Enough is enough. You are in pain and getting worse." He said, pulling me out.

"Who told you?"

"Grissom." He said

I groaned as he led me to the door. They performed tests on me finding out I had an ulcer. Medicated later I went home lying down. Grissom came in seeing me getting up. He kissed me then looked me over.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"I will make something."

He walked out as I walked out walking over to the kitchen seeing him getting food out of the fridge.

"Grissom?"

"Hmm?"

"Did dad call you?"

"Yes, he did."

I watched him get out a knife from the drawer then he looked at me getting a cutting board placing it on the counter. He put a pepper on the board cutting it carefully.

"I think you need to consider early maternity leave."

I knew that was coming. He could tell I was holding in my stubbornness.

"Sara, I know you want to argue, but I need to speak up. You are not sleeping well because you are worrying about the baby. That causes the ulcer. Do you know what harm that can cause the baby?"

"I am aware of that. I can't just not work."

"Why?" He asked, as he put the knife down folding his arms looking at me.

"I hate staying home. I want to be out there working."

"What about the worrying?"

I sat on a stool looking at him.

"I just worry about…..something happening."

He leaned over the counter with his arms stretched out.

"We talked about that. I promise I will let nothing happen to this baby or you."

"You can't be around all the time."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

He sighed walked around the counter to me. His arms went around me as he kissed my head.

"Sara, you will be protecting this child for eight more months. In that time we will figure things out and work on a safer environment. I will do whatever I can to make sure you feel safe. I just want you to stop stressing so much. I love you so much and I love the baby. Please try to take it easy and I will allow you to work, but only part time."

"I will try." I said, closing my eyes as he kissed my neck.

I turned kissing him on the lips. He pulled me tighter against him. I moved back looking at him surprised.

"What?" He asked, smiling.

"I am getting a craving."

"Let me guess…ice cream."

"No." I said, taking his hand leading him to the bedroom.

"Sara, we need to eat." He said

I turned kissing him again this time passionate. He groaned as I undid his shirt moving away looking at him with hunger.

"It can wait." He said, taking me in the room.

We came back out half an hour later in robes. Grissom went back to cutting vegetables as I opened the freezer taking out a container of ice cream.

"Sara, we are going to eat soon."

"It's your fault you said ice cream." I said, getting a large spoon out eating. He shook his head looking at me. "You know what this needs?"

"Whipped cream." He said, as he ate some off the spoon I held out.

"No. it needs some kind of meat."

He looked at me as I opened the fridge looking in.

By my third month I was always hungry when I saw food. Grissom tried to stop me from eating so much even joking that I might have more than one baby inside me.

I noticed that I was becoming bigger than my last time and I wondered if I was carrying more than one baby. The doctor did an ultrasound one week with Grissom leaning over me to see the computer screen. I watched him looking for a sign we were having a boy.

"The baby looks healthy." She said "You can see the spinal cord."

"Looks good." Grissom said

"I can tell you the sex." She said, looking at us.

Grissom looked at me seeing me nod then he looked at the doctor.

"It's a girl."

I sighed looking at Grissom. He leaned over kissing my head.

"Wait there is something else here." She said, looking moving the sensor over my belly.

"Another baby?" I asked

She looked closer as Grissom looked holding my hand.

"Huh." She said

"What's wrong?" Grissom asked

She looked at us smiling.

"I see another baby."

"Another?" Grissom asked

"Yes, it is lodged behind the girl, but it looks healthy as well. I think I can tell you what sex it is."

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the right. She moved the sensor gasping as I did. There on the screen was yet another.

"I need to sit down." Grissom said, sitting in a chair behind him.

"Well it appears you are having triplets." She said "It's amazing."

"Grissom we are having three babies!" I said, looking at him.

"I can tell you that one of them in a boy and the other….is a girl."

"I hope that is all." Grissom said

"Yes, don't worry I don't see anymore." She said "Sara, having three babies can be difficult. We may have to do a C-section which means you will have to come in early. Don't worry I have done them for years and I can get the babies out in sixty seconds."

"When should she stop working?" Grissom asked

"Well considering the extra baby I would say by your sixth month."

Grissom walked with me to the car looking at me as I was in shock. We got into the car and he leaned over kissing me slowly. A moment later he moved back.

"What was that for?" I asked

"Three babies."

"How can this be happening?" I asked

"It's a miracle, Sara."

"I just hope we can handle this."

"I told you everything will be all right." He said

I nodded looking at his lips. Brass stood outside the lab waiting on us to come back. I smiled running over to him hugging him.

"I guess you have good news." He said

"Yes and we know what we are having." I said, moving back.

"Well I am guessing a girl." He said

"Yes," Grissom said "and a boy."

"Twins?" He asked

"And another girl." I said

Brass stood back looking at us in amazement.

"Triplets!"

Grissom rubbed his head nodding as Brass pulled me back against him laughing.

"That is the best present you could have given me!"

I moved back as Grissom sighed walking past us to the building while Brass and I talked excitedly.

I walked to Grissom's office ten minutes later seeing he was on the phone at his desk. He looked at me as he said goodbye hanging up. I leaned on the desk smiling.

"Hello daddy."

He shook his head sitting back in his chair.

"I think now that the shock is over we should talk about buying a new house."

"Okay." I said

"I think we should look for a four bedroom house close to work."

"I agree." I said

He stood watching me smile at him.

"Are you going to be smiling till the babies are born?"

"Yes."

"Good, because you are beautiful when you do." He said

Grissom looked at several houses around the neighborhood we wanted to live in. He took me along a street one day on our day off to a gated community. I smiled looking at the large gate opening for us. Grissom drove through looking at the homes on each side. The houses were large and immaculately kept with gardeners working on beautiful flower gardens around the houses.

"Do you like it?" He asked

"Yes, I like the gate." I said

He chuckled looking over at me.

"I meant the houses."

"Yes, I like them."

"Good. There are security guards that patrol and a protected park." He said, turning down a street then into a driveway stopping.

I got out looking at the large stone house with a nice flower garden and trees.

"It's very quiet here." I said

"Come on." He said, walking to the stone stairs leading to a large porch. He took out some keys unlocking the door.

"Grissom, where is the realtor?"

"I bought this for us." He said

I smiled hugging him.

"I just want you to be safe."

I moved back waiting as he opened the door motioning me to go through. I went in gasping seeing a large open living room with the stairs on the right of the room made of old wood. Grissom closed the door watching me look around. I went into a room that was in the back of the house already deciding on that room being a dining room then I opened another door next to it seeing a large kitchen with a back door. Grissom walked into the kitchen seeing me walking around looking at the new fridge and stove. I turned looking at him.

"It's perfect."

"Look outside." He said

I walked over looking out to the back yard seeing a large fenced yard with a swimming pool and a large tree with a tree house built among the branches.

"Wow!"

"I am not done surprising you." He said

I smiled walking with him to the stairs. We went up hearing the wood creak. Grissom opened up the first door we came to telling me that was the master bedroom. He pulled me away from it to go the next room.

"This is the surprise. I hope you like it." He said

He opened the door allowing me to go in. I stopped looking around seeing that he had put together a baby room. Tears went down my cheeks as I sniffed looking at the changing table supplied with diapers and the other things I would need. Grissom looked at the toys scattered around the room on shelves.

"Your dad helped me. The other bedrooms are like this to." He said "Plus I had intercoms put in every room and a security alarm."

I turned walking over to him hugging him crying against his chest. He held me feeling his eyes moisten as well.

Brass was in his office as I walked in a few days later. He smiled at me as I walked over kissing his cheek.

"You saw the house?"

"It's just…perfect."

He nodded standing hugging me.

"Thank you." I said

He kissed my head.

We moved into our new house and for the first time in months I slept without tossing and turning. One day in my fourth month I called in sick. I felt off as if something was wrong inside. Grissom dragged me to the doctors and we were told I lost one of the girls. Despite being heartbroken I had still two children to take care of. Grissom demanded I stop working after that. I rested and ate going out getting baby clothes.

Grissom came home late not seeing me. He walked to the kitchen then he went up to our bedroom.

"Sara?"

He walked in the room when I pushed him onto the bed. He looked up at me wearing a black maternity tank top and black pants. I smiled down at him.

"I have been waiting for you." I said

"I see that." He said

"How do you feel?"

"I feel great except my ankles are swollen and one of the babies are kicking me." I said, undoing his pant belt.

He put his hand on my stomach feeling a tremendous kick.

"Must be the girl." He said

I chuckled undoing his pants.

"I have not been in the mood for weeks and today that ends."

"Honey, your father is coming over soon."

I climbed over him undoing my pants.

"I don't care at this point." I said

He watched me undress then lean over kissing him. Brass came an hour later with take out. Grissom smiled at me as I walked around him in the dining room giving Brass a glass of water.

"Thank's honey." He said

I sat down near him feeling him take my hand rubbing it.

"Thought of names?" He asked

"I thought of Albert Einstein, but Sara vetoed that."

"It doesn't go with Grissom." I said

"Then I said let's call the girl Curie after Madame Curie." Grissom said, looking over at me.

"Curie Grissom?" I said

Brass chuckled as he ate.

"We could name her after your mom."

"No." I said, as I lifted my fork to eat.

"Okay we'll think of something else."

Brass sat back looking at us as he thought.

"How about Bert and Gert?"

I looked at Brass as Grissom laughed.

"Bert and Gert Grissom." I said

"It has a ring to it."

I rubbed my head as he laughed.

"I think we should keep choosing." Grissom said

I looked at myself in the seventh month in the bathroom mirror. My belly looked like I swallowed two watermelons. The babies were active that month kicking and poking me. Grissom would rub my ankles and listening to my complaints about being pregnant then he would prepare something I wanted. When I slept he would be up touching my moving belly.

At eight months I was feeling uncomfortable. Grissom told me that I was beautiful even though I knew the truth. Towards the end I was taken to the hospital for the c section. Grissom dressed in the hospital scrubs held my hand as the doctor started to cut into my skin.

"Okay Sara, just relax and think good thoughts." The doctor said

I nodded squeezing Grissom's hand. He looked over watching the staff work. I felt a tug then a loud cry coming from one of the babies.

"Here's the big girl." The doctor said, giving her to one of the nurses. I watched as the nurse walked over showing us the baby.

Grissom watched as the nurse walked away with our daughter just as we heard another cry. This one was loud almost screaming.

"Here's the small boy." The doctor said

Grissom looked relieved as he watched the doctor hand him over to another nurse. I looked at him then at the baby the nurse brought over for us to see.

"He has a full head of hair." She said

Grissom smiled as the woman walked away. He leaned over kissing me then stood watching again as they cared for our children. I slept in a room as Grissom walked around holding our new born son. He looked over at me then at the other baby lying in the two baby crib next to the bed. Our son yawned slowly opening his eyes looking at Grissom.

"Hello."

The door opened as Brass came in carrying flowers with some balloons. He set them down on a table at the foot of the bed walking over to Grissom.

"This is your grandson." Grissom said, quietly.

"Does he have a name yet?"

"No." Grissom said, handing the baby over to Brass.

"Hey, no crying." He said, as the baby started to whimper. "Someone needs to comb your hair."

Grissom smiled as he watched Brass look at the bundled up baby.

"How's Sara?"

"Great, just tired."

Brass looked over at me then he walked over looking at the girl in the crib sleeping.

"She looks like Sara."

"Yeah."

I moved opening my eyes seeing them. I smiled looking down at my son.

"Hey honey."

"Hey."

"It's time to think of names."

"I think Olivia Anne for her and George James for him." Grissom said

"Good names." Brass said

I smiled reaching over taking Grissoms hand. A few days later we came into our home with the baby's. Grissom took both of them up to their rooms as I sat on the steps. He came back down turning on the intercom then he sat down next to me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just have never been this happy and it's weird. There has always been something wrong. Now there is nothing wrong and I feel like there should be."

He put his arm around me.

"Thank you." I said, watching him look at me. "You have given me so much. I wish I could repay you for everything you have done."

He kissed me slowly then held me close to him.

Grissom woke up as I moved around next to him. It was a month later after we found out I was pregnant and with that came the rapid tossing and turning that woke him up from a deep sleep every time. I moved up against him then I stilled letting him know that I was settling down. Closing his eyes he welcomed the sleep he desired. He understood I was troubled about being pregnant and that was what caused the movement in bed. He talked to me about it hoping the conversation would stop the worrying, but in fact it made it worse.

I moved causing him to turn and reach other touching my back.

"Relax." He said, quietly. As I stilled for a few minutes he felt that I would sleep better. The alarm went off for me at six. Grissom yawned moving over me to turn it off then he proceeded to kiss my neck. "Honey, it's time for you to get up."

I moved lying down again on my back. He slowly moved his hand to rest on my stomach.

"Half an hour." I mumbled

"No, you have to get up and work." He said

I kept my eyes closed wanting to lay in bed all day, but then I was woken by the familiar morning sickness. He watched me get up running to the bathroom throwing up. I came out holding my stomach as I walked over sitting on the bed. Grissom sat up rubbing my back.

"Sara, maybe you should stay home."

"No, it's okay." I said

He kissed my shoulder watching me as I calmed down.

I parked outside of a junk yard outside of town scrunching my nose as the smell got to me. Dan a fellow day shift CSI walked over handing me my case and we walked into the yard. Sophia stood waiting for us by a beat up car.

"The body is over there." She said, pointing to the beat up car. Dan walked over looking inside seeing the man.

"Wow, he looks like he was crushed."

"He was then he was dragged over here."

I swallowed feeling sick again.

"Sara, are you okay?" Sophia asked

I nodded, but then I dropped my case running back past the car to a grass patch next to a bush losing what breakfast I ate. Sophia ran over leaving Dan behind. She touched my back as I bent over throwing up more.

"Dan and I can handle this, Sara." She said

I threw up again standing as I wiped my mouth with my arm. She watched me nod quickly. She got an officer to drive me back to the lab. George walked down the hallway seeing me walking almost white down the hallway.

"Sara, you okay?"

I nodded walking past him.

"Wait up." He said, walking over. "Have you been sick?"

"Yeah, at the crime scene I came back here."

"You should lie down. Go into the rest room and lay down. I will call Grissom."

"No, don't call him. I worry him enough." I said

"Okay." He said

I nodded making my way to the room where the beds were. He watched me disappear as he got his phone out. The room was empty so I picked the last bunk bed in the row next to the wall. Laying down I sighed rubbing my stomach going to sleep. The door opened an hour later as Grissom walked in looking at the beds. He walked to the end seeing me sleeping on the bottom bunk. His hand went to my head then he sat down on the mattress smoothing my hair. When I didn't move he put a blanket over me kissing my head then he went out.

"Gil!" Brass called, walking quickly over. "Sophia said Sara was sick. Is she okay?"

"She's sleeping in there."

Brass let out a breath looking at the door then at Grissom.

"This morning sickness is really getting to her." Grissom said

"It did the same thing to my wife. They do get over it."

"Yes, but in the meantime she has to deal with it."

I still slept as Grissom came in the second time at nine o'clock. He walked over seeing that I had moved to my side facing the other bed. He sat down putting a bag on the floor as he touched my hair.

"Sara, wake up."

I breathed deeply oblivious to him.

"Sara." He said, louder.

I slowly moved my head stilling.

"Honey, I have some food for you."

I opened my eyes seeing Grissom.

"You haven't eaten all day, so I went out and got you some take out and then I am taking you home."

"Food?"

"Yes, Mexican."

I sat up looking at him interested.

"The doctor said you can have this once in a while." He said, lifting the bag.

We went into his office sitting down by his desk as he lifted out several containers that smelled like heaven. He opened one for me and I almost fell over seeing a vegetarian burrito topped with salsa and sour cream. He handed me a fork putting a napkin over my chest watching me put large pieces of the burrito in my mouth.

"I guess it helps to have a big mouth." He said, as he opened his food.

"I'll ignore that comment." I said

He chuckled eating. I practically licked the container clean then I dug into the chips in a bag with salsa. Grissom just sat back watching me eat. Finally full, I sat back touching my stomach.

"That was good." I said

"Glad you enjoyed that." He said "Sara, I know you are sick a lot, but I want you to eat more."

"I am trying."

"I know, maybe you can take more vitamins."

I nodded looking down at my slightly showing stomach.

Grissom moved in bed after we got home feeling me next to him sleeping. I hadn't moved in five minutes making him happy that I was getting a little sleep at least. I sat up quickly ten minutes later looking down. Grissom sat up looking at me as he turned on the light.

"You okay?"

"My stomach is upset." I said, getting out of bed walking to the bathroom. Grissom got up walking over to the closed door opening it to see me sitting on the bathtub holding myself.

"Honey, what kind of pain are you having?" He asked

"It's really burning." I said

He got some heartburn pills and a glass of water. I took one drinking the water then I waited.

"Maybe we should take you to the hospital." He said

"No!" I said

"Sara."

"I said no!"

He sighed kneeling down touching my stomach.

"It's stopping." I said, sighing.

"Your sure?"

I nodded as I sat still. He reached up pushing my hair back as I lifted my head looking at him.

"I feel better."

"I shouldn't have given you Mexican." He said

"No, I wanted it." I said, reaching over touching his hand.

He stood as I did walking back to the bed. I laid down as he did putting his hand on my stomach. The next shift I was having heartburn again. I sat in the locker room clenched in pain. My worst fear was that I was miscarrying. The door opened as Brass walked in seeing me.

"Sara, get up you are going to the hospital."

I got up seeing the look on his face meant to do what he said.

"Enough is enough. You are in pain and getting worse." He said, pulling me out.

"Who told you?"

"Grissom." He said

I groaned as he led me to the door. They performed tests on me finding out I had an ulcer. Medicated later I went home lying down. Grissom came in seeing me getting up. He kissed me then looked me over.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"I will make something."

He walked out as I walked out walking over to the kitchen seeing him getting food out of the fridge.

"Grissom?"

"Hmm?"

"Did dad call you?"

"Yes, he did."

I watched him get out a knife from the drawer then he looked at me getting a cutting board placing it on the counter. He put a pepper on the board cutting it carefully.

"I think you need to consider early maternity leave."

I knew that was coming. He could tell I was holding in my stubbornness.

"Sara, I know you want to argue, but I need to speak up. You are not sleeping well because you are worrying about the baby. That causes the ulcer. Do you know what harm that can cause the baby?"

"I am aware of that. I can't just not work."

"Why?" He asked, as he put the knife down folding his arms looking at me.

"I hate staying home. I want to be out there working."

"What about the worrying?"

I sat on a stool looking at him.

"I just worry about…..something happening."

He leaned over the counter with his arms stretched out.

"We talked about that. I promise I will let nothing happen to this baby or you."

"You can't be around all the time."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

He sighed walked around the counter to me. His arms went around me as he kissed my head.

"Sara, you will be protecting this child for eight more months. In that time we will figure things out and work on a safer environment. I will do whatever I can to make sure you feel safe. I just want you to stop stressing so much. I love you so much and I love the baby. Please try to take it easy and I will allow you to work, but only part time."

"I will try." I said, closing my eyes as he kissed my neck.

I turned kissing him on the lips. He pulled me tighter against him. I moved back looking at him surprised.

"What?" He asked, smiling.

"I am getting a craving."

"Let me guess…ice cream."

"No." I said, taking his hand leading him to the bedroom.

"Sara, we need to eat." He said

I turned kissing him again this time passionate. He groaned as I undid his shirt moving away looking at him with hunger.

"It can wait." He said, taking me in the room.

We came back out half an hour later in robes. Grissom went back to cutting vegetables as I opened the freezer taking out a container of ice cream.

"Sara, we are going to eat soon."

"It's your fault you said ice cream." I said, getting a large spoon out eating. He shook his head looking at me. "You know what this needs?"

"Whipped cream." He said, as he ate some off the spoon I held out.

"No. it needs some kind of meat."

He looked at me as I opened the fridge looking in.

By my third month I was always hungry when I saw food. Grissom tried to stop me from eating so much even joking that I might have more than one baby inside me.

I noticed that I was becoming bigger than my last time and I wondered if I was carrying more than one baby. The doctor did an ultrasound one week with Grissom leaning over me to see the computer screen. I watched him looking for a sign we were having a boy.

"The baby looks healthy." She said "You can see the spinal cord."

"Looks good." Grissom said

"I can tell you the sex." She said, looking at us.

Grissom looked at me seeing me nod then he looked at the doctor.

"It's a girl."

I sighed looking at Grissom. He leaned over kissing my head.

"Wait there is something else here." She said, looking moving the sensor over my belly.

"Another baby?" I asked

She looked closer as Grissom looked holding my hand.

"Huh." She said

"What's wrong?" Grissom asked

She looked at us smiling.

"I see another baby."

"Another?" Grissom asked

"Yes, it is lodged behind the girl, but it looks healthy as well. I think I can tell you what sex it is."

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the right. She moved the sensor gasping as I did. There on the screen was yet another.

"I need to sit down." Grissom said, sitting in a chair behind him.

"Well it appears you are having triplets." She said "It's amazing."

"Grissom we are having three babies!" I said, looking at him.

"I can tell you that one of them in a boy and the other….is a girl."

"I hope that is all." Grissom said

"Yes, don't worry I don't see anymore." She said "Sara, having three babies can be difficult. We may have to do a C-section which means you will have to come in early. Don't worry I have done them for years and I can get the babies out in sixty seconds."

"When should she stop working?" Grissom asked

"Well considering the extra baby I would say by your sixth month."

Grissom walked with me to the car looking at me as I was in shock. We got into the car and he leaned over kissing me slowly. A moment later he moved back.

"What was that for?" I asked

"Three babies."

"How can this be happening?" I asked

"It's a miracle, Sara."

"I just hope we can handle this."

"I told you everything will be all right." He said

I nodded looking at his lips. Brass stood outside the lab waiting on us to come back. I smiled running over to him hugging him.

"I guess you have good news." He said

"Yes and we know what we are having." I said, moving back.

"Well I am guessing a girl." He said

"Yes," Grissom said "and a boy."

"Twins?" He asked

"And another girl." I said

Brass stood back looking at us in amazement.

"Triplets!"

Grissom rubbed his head nodding as Brass pulled me back against him laughing.

"That is the best present you could have given me!"

I moved back as Grissom sighed walking past us to the building while Brass and I talked excitedly.

I walked to Grissom's office ten minutes later seeing he was on the phone at his desk. He looked at me as he said goodbye hanging up. I leaned on the desk smiling.

"Hello daddy."

He shook his head sitting back in his chair.

"I think now that the shock is over we should talk about buying a new house."

"Okay." I said

"I think we should look for a four bedroom house close to work."

"I agree." I said

He stood watching me smile at him.

"Are you going to be smiling till the babies are born?"

"Yes."

"Good, because you are beautiful when you do." He said

Grissom looked at several houses around the neighborhood we wanted to live in. He took me along a street one day on our day off to a gated community. I smiled looking at the large gate opening for us. Grissom drove through looking at the homes on each side. The houses were large and immaculately kept with gardeners working on beautiful flower gardens around the houses.

"Do you like it?" He asked

"Yes, I like the gate." I said

He chuckled looking over at me.

"I meant the houses."

"Yes, I like them."

"Good. There are security guards that patrol and a protected park." He said, turning down a street then into a driveway stopping.

I got out looking at the large stone house with a nice flower garden and trees.

"It's very quiet here." I said

"Come on." He said, walking to the stone stairs leading to a large porch. He took out some keys unlocking the door.

"Grissom, where is the realtor?"

"I bought this for us." He said

I smiled hugging him.

"I just want you to be safe."

I moved back waiting as he opened the door motioning me to go through. I went in gasping seeing a large open living room with the stairs on the right of the room made of old wood. Grissom closed the door watching me look around. I went into a room that was in the back of the house already deciding on that room being a dining room then I opened another door next to it seeing a large kitchen with a back door. Grissom walked into the kitchen seeing me walking around looking at the new fridge and stove. I turned looking at him.

"It's perfect."

"Look outside." He said

I walked over looking out to the back yard seeing a large fenced yard with a swimming pool and a large tree with a tree house built among the branches.

"Wow!"

"I am not done surprising you." He said

I smiled walking with him to the stairs. We went up hearing the wood creak. Grissom opened up the first door we came to telling me that was the master bedroom. He pulled me away from it to go the next room.

"This is the surprise. I hope you like it." He said

He opened the door allowing me to go in. I stopped looking around seeing that he had put together a baby room. Tears went down my cheeks as I sniffed looking at the changing table supplied with diapers and the other things I would need. Grissom looked at the toys scattered around the room on shelves.

"Your dad helped me. The other bedrooms are like this to." He said "Plus I had intercoms put in every room and a security alarm."

I turned walking over to him hugging him crying against his chest. He held me feeling his eyes moisten as well.

Brass was in his office as I walked in a few days later. He smiled at me as I walked over kissing his cheek.

"You saw the house?"

"It's just…perfect."

He nodded standing hugging me.

"Thank you." I said

He kissed my head.

We moved into our new house and for the first time in months I slept without tossing and turning. One day in my fourth month I called in sick. I felt off as if something was wrong inside. Grissom dragged me to the doctors and we were told I lost one of the girls. Despite being heartbroken I had still two children to take care of. Grissom demanded I stop working after that. I rested and ate going out getting baby clothes.

Grissom came home late not seeing me. He walked to the kitchen then he went up to our bedroom.

"Sara?"

He walked in the room when I pushed him onto the bed. He looked up at me wearing a black maternity tank top and black pants. I smiled down at him.

"I have been waiting for you." I said

"I see that." He said

"How do you feel?"

"I feel great except my ankles are swollen and one of the babies are kicking me." I said, undoing his pant belt.

He put his hand on my stomach feeling a tremendous kick.

"Must be the girl." He said

I chuckled undoing his pants.

"I have not been in the mood for weeks and today that ends."

"Honey, your father is coming over soon."

I climbed over him undoing my pants.

"I don't care at this point." I said

He watched me undress then lean over kissing him. Brass came an hour later with take out. Grissom smiled at me as I walked around him in the dining room giving Brass a glass of water.

"Thank's honey." He said

I sat down near him feeling him take my hand rubbing it.

"Thought of names?" He asked

"I thought of Albert Einstein, but Sara vetoed that."

"It doesn't go with Grissom." I said

"Then I said let's call the girl Curie after Madame Curie." Grissom said, looking over at me.

"Curie Grissom?" I said

Brass chuckled as he ate.

"We could name her after your mom."

"No." I said, as I lifted my fork to eat.

"Okay we'll think of something else."

Brass sat back looking at us as he thought.

"How about Bert and Gert?"

I looked at Brass as Grissom laughed.

"Bert and Gert Grissom." I said

"It has a ring to it."

I rubbed my head as he laughed.

"I think we should keep choosing." Grissom said

I looked at myself in the seventh month in the bathroom mirror. My belly looked like I swallowed two watermelons. The babies were active that month kicking and poking me. Grissom would rub my ankles and listening to my complaints about being pregnant then he would prepare something I wanted. When I slept he would be up touching my moving belly.

At eight months I was feeling uncomfortable. Grissom told me that I was beautiful even though I knew the truth. Towards the end I was taken to the hospital for the c section. Grissom dressed in the hospital scrubs held my hand as the doctor started to cut into my skin.

"Okay Sara, just relax and think good thoughts." The doctor said

I nodded squeezing Grissom's hand. He looked over watching the staff work. I felt a tug then a loud cry coming from one of the babies.

"Here's the big girl." The doctor said, giving her to one of the nurses. I watched as the nurse walked over showing us the baby.

Grissom watched as the nurse walked away with our daughter just as we heard another cry. This one was loud almost screaming.

"Here's the small boy." The doctor said

Grissom looked relieved as he watched the doctor hand him over to another nurse. I looked at him then at the baby the nurse brought over for us to see.

"He has a full head of hair." She said

Grissom smiled as the woman walked away. He leaned over kissing me then stood watching again as they cared for our children. I slept in a room as Grissom walked around holding our new born son. He looked over at me then at the other baby lying in the two baby crib next to the bed. Our son yawned slowly opening his eyes looking at Grissom.

"Hello."

The door opened as Brass came in carrying flowers with some balloons. He set them down on a table at the foot of the bed walking over to Grissom.

"This is your grandson." Grissom said, quietly.

"Does he have a name yet?"

"No." Grissom said, handing the baby over to Brass.

"Hey, no crying." He said, as the baby started to whimper. "Someone needs to comb your hair."

Grissom smiled as he watched Brass look at the bundled up baby.

"How's Sara?"

"Great, just tired."

Brass looked over at me then he walked over looking at the girl in the crib sleeping.

"She looks like Sara."

"Yeah."

I moved opening my eyes seeing them. I smiled looking down at my son.

"Hey honey."

"Hey."

"It's time to think of names."

"I think Olivia Anne for her and George James for him." Grissom said

"Good names." Brass said

I smiled reaching over taking Grissoms hand. A few days later we came into our home with the baby's. Grissom took both of them up to their rooms as I sat on the steps. He came back down turning on the intercom then he sat down next to me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just have never been this happy and it's weird. There has always been something wrong. Now there is nothing wrong and I feel like there should be."

He put his arm around me.

"Thank you." I said, watching him look at me. "You have given me so much. I wish I could repay you for everything you have done."

He kissed me slowly then held me close to him.


End file.
